110 Days Meditation – My Experience, Benefits

He had taken things to a new level. Quite literally.

Rising above thought, doing the impossible.

As he burned he never moved a muscle, never uttered a sound, his outward composure in sharp contrast to the wailing people around him.

On June 11, 1963,  Buddhist monk Thích Quảng Đức sat down in the middle of an intersection, had gasoline poured over and burned himself to death.

I didn’t plan to go out in style, but couldn’t deny the power of meditation anymore. It doesn’t just work, but does so in very powerful and life-changing ways. Real changes occurring during meditation – the ability to maintain crystal clear focus and calmness even in the face of extreme situations.

Most problems are mind-made and becoming more present to the moment became my way of tackling them.

Lunch Break At The Mall

It’s not hard to figure out what people must have thought. After all, I had sat there staring straight ahead, not even flinching once. 20 minutes – as if I were in another world.

People started looking. I was the weird guy.

Spending my lunch break in the mall had become a daily meditation practice. Comfortable sofas and away from work, I sat down in an effort to becoming more present. Not the best environment, but a challenge to my willpower.

Open-eye meditation – staring right through the entrance of a clothing store – had become my preferred style. With a bit of practice, I was able to have people walk through my field of vision without getting distracted.

This ability become more solid over time, where I would rarely feel tempted to tilt left or right. If I did, it was for some really hot piece of ass. The real challenge was looking as little psycho as possible, so that staff wouldn’t inform security and get me kicked out.

Closing my eyes – something I had never tried.

While visual distractions were never much of an issue, I had a hard time focusing on my breathing. I decided to close my eyes and focus on my body. That became easier, but also to drift off. Too easy.

In fact, I had to change things again because losing myself in thoughts became the norm.

Time to ditch the stopwatch.

I had started out using a timer for exactly 20 minutes each session. When I switched to counting breaths, focus rose to another level. Instead of sitting still for a certain period, the goal became counting to 250 breaths – while not losing count of the number. This was a great way of focusing on breathing.

Occasionally, I would even do challenges to see how far I could take things. The records is at 3,000 breaths, which must have taken me at least an hour to reach.

The Real Benefits

Whatever I was doing, it was easier and quicker to get into the flow state. Daily meditation didn’t magically solve all my problems, but it has made me significantly calmer – especially in pressure situations.

Rising above thinking and becoming aware of my own reactions happened naturally more often, but still took effort.

Once immersed in a difficult situation, it was easier dealing with it, but stepping out of my comfort zone – that first step – was just as hard. Before starting the practice, my expectation was to be able to see through the illusions of fear and anxiety, and proceed with easy.

Maybe I haven’t practiced long enough, but I certainly wasn’t even close to having these abilities.

Nowadays, I don’t move around nervously as most people do. I will sit still, breathe and experience my body. The real challenge is not cracking up when I see other people flinch or constantly shift posture.

Fleshlight – My Fuckbuddy Never Turns Me Down

Sex is nothing like masturbation.

My first sexual encounters were awkward, emotionless and odd.

I was lost in my thoughts, nervous as hell and had even less of an idea about fucking that I do now. A couple of girls later, sex became somewhat enjoyable and more than simply a biological obligation.

My first girl was a Cuban hooker, a Latina in her mid-twenties. Nice body, big tits and full lips. I had looked her up online beforehand and pictured what it would be like. Sex, after all, must be similar to jerking off.

I take the obligatory shower, lie down. She starts to blowing me.

No erection.

Somehow she manages to sit on top and ride my cock. Quite amazing, if you consider that it was limp. Things are still awkward, but now we shake things up. I position myself behind her. There’s mirrors all around.

Fuck yeah, this looks just like porn.

Then I put my semi-hard dick in and start banging her from behind. Confusion. I look at the side mirror, down on the girl’s ass and at the mirror again. Questions come to mind.

This is sex, why does it feel like shit?

Why does everyone else seem to enjoy it?

The girl was hot, but it made no difference. I was just going through the motions.

I tell her, “Let it be“.

Then, a bit of honesty – I say what had been on my mind.

You are beautiful and everything, but fucking you was complete shit.

Little did I know that it wasn’t her fault.

After that, I gave things another try, banged a hooker and even went to an hour-long erotic massage. None of it helped solve the issue, but it got me thinking about solutions. I couldn’t have know that things were about to get weirder.

  • Was I too nervous?
  • Did I pick the wrong condoms?
  • Were the girls not hot enough?

A couple of days later, I planned on getting different condoms at the sex shop. I thought the previous ones might have been too tight.

Nervously browsing through the shop, I noticed a device that looked like a vagina. I glanced at it from the distance, taking a closer look would’ve been too embarrassing. After all, it looked fucking weird.

I didn’t know what it was, but looked it up online and quickly came across the Fleshlight. If you’ve never seen one, it will probably weird you out. At less than $100, I said fuck it (no pun intended), why not, at least I am able to practice in an relaxed environment.

The First Fuck, A Quickie

When the parcel arrived, I couldn’t wait to give it a try. Once unwrapped, I submerged the device in warm water for 10 minutes.

That made the inside of the Fleshlight warm and cozy.

In the meantime, I flipped on my laptop and watched some porn.

When I felt “ready”, I took the Fleshlight out of the sink, let the water drip off and sat down in front of my laptop again. In the porn, the guy started fucking the girl, so I go started as well.

I wasn’t prepared for what it would feel like.

A hole, warm, moist and tight at the same time. It couldn’t argue that real sex was better. After a few seconds, I had to pause. As you can expect, it was an intense experience.

The Best Moment Of My Life?

I don’t know, but a million times better than masturbation. I continued for another couple of minutes and when I couldn’t hold it anymore, came gloriously.

Holy shit, what an experience!

Porn still running in the background, I had to relax for a couple of seconds.

When it was all over, I just let water rinse through it and let it dry. Before hiding this thing in my closet again, I put on some renewing powder.

The goal was to practice for real sex, I started to experiment.

  • Doggy-Style – Putting it between 2 pillows on my bed, bang! Fucking awesome.
  • Missionary – Seriously, I didn’t come up with this weird idea. Nonetheless, it does work. Taking a shoe, putting a couple of pillows on top and penetrate. Just like the real thing.

Beyond fun and play, I started using it for stamina training. The bottom can be adjusted to make it more tight, the pussy.

After a week or two, I was able to perform for 15 minutes, which was roughly 2,000 continuous strokes. It’s a great way to practice delaying ejaculation, or not coming at all. Porn usage is mandatory, otherwise you’re missing the arousal. That’s what I learned the hard way.

Reaching 3,000 strokes, I saw myself already at porn star level. Then I fucked a girl. 30 Seconds – Game Over!

I had simply practiced without being fully aroused.

If all of this seems crazy, I am with you. But it’s a hell of a lot of fun!

The exact setup I used:

Using the wrong lubrication after the original had been empty, turned out to be a huge mistake. The Fleshlight became sticky and I had to throw it away. Taking proper care by cleaning it after each session and using the powder is key.

Treat it right and it will be a dear friend in lonely moments.

Anywhere You Go, You Are Still Here

Now first off, I am not a seasoned traveler by any means, but I do have some experience to base this off. I’ve been to 3 continents and spend almost 2 years abroad since I went on a solo journey almost 4 years ago.

Anyway, on my first trip to Asia, I had this weird experience that stuck with me the entire time. First noticed at Moscow airport where I had my connecting flight, but not to the same extent. Continue reading “Anywhere You Go, You Are Still Here”