Entrepreneurial Challenges – Being Your Own Boss Sucks

Most things, we suck at initially. Despite what people say, I am no God and still find myself struggling on a daily basis. In fact, most realizations I have don’t come in nice packaging.

Take my current, daily experience for example.

OUT OF CONTROL.

Waking up at random time, I think about today’s plan, occasionally write it down in written form and get ready to start the day. Minutes later, I find myself breaking down already, can’t get started on anything and am deeply in the grip of distraction.

Food, porn, YouTube. The entire spectrum.

Somehow, I imagined working from home to be different.

At this point, I already feel overwhelmed with a subtle frustration and start questioning the purpose of EVERYTHING. Hell, I can’t even get myself to get started on even the tiniest, most simplistic task.

I start to dread how ALL day is going to be spent at home, the dullness of the experience and that it’s likely to remain the same for the months to come.

The only real break, a change of scenery will be the weekend if only for a couple of hours when meeting friends. Other than that, I am stuck at home, trying to kill time, thinking of ways to make 12 hours pass more quickly while feeling totally unproductive simultaneously.

Now, I could blame it on the environment. Exciting stuff to do in the evening, I could cope with sitting at home during the day more easily. Looks like a legitimate reason, but is more of an excuse.

After all, I could’ve worked my ass off while staying in Thailand.

I did NOT.

Staying in Bangkok, I’ve been on the road every single day, met different girls and enjoyed the nightlife. So much variety and still, I ended up distracting myself and didn’t get much done at all. Fair enough, perhaps the pussy was too distracting.

A Slave’s Comfort

I’m surprised to say this, but the comfort of working a day job is, well, comforting. In fact, it’s probably the reason 99% of people stay in the 9-5 scheme – despite hating every minute of the experience. If all you have to do is show up and get paid by the hour, it’s easy to feel productive and almost like a success.

Back in the old days of enslavement, there wasn’t much I had to do in order to feel good about myself. Eat a clean diet, hit the gym and sit in the office. Money was made without regards to results, no pressure at all.

As an employee, I could relax, do nothing and just ponder about personal/business ideas while still getting paid and using my time productively. Most of the day was filled out and I felt like every minute was utilized – simply because I got paid for it.

Today, a different challenge arises. Just taking time to think – whether it’s business-related or personal – feels like a waste of time. In the end, I am only going to get paid by results. And so, relaxing, doing nothing, is more difficult than it seems and comes with a variety of negative emotions, or perhaps is their very cause.

At least, all of it has lead to interesting questions, and more importantly, analyzing my emotions and behaviors.

The Absurdity of Life

In the end, it will all be in vain. No matter the purpose or motivation, it simply doesn’t matter. Life is absurd, we spend all this time chasing happiness, trying to accomplish goals – and then we die.

I am not trying to be pessimistic, quite the opposite.

Realizing that nothing really matters, that everything will eventually be lost and that its all just temporary can be extremely liberating. In fact, it’s the antidote to the seductive, yet harmful force of desire, need and want.

Some say that purpose, pressure and motivation are the rocket-fuel to getting things done. Personal experience has shown that I might be wired differently, where all of these forces result in pressure, overwhelm, frustration and come with a truckload of resistance to getting started on a task.

I might plan my daily outcomes and only minutes later feel frustrated and overwhelmed about all the things I have to accomplish. Day after day, the same experience repeats. Now, that has finally led to reconsideration of my beliefs and approaches to life.

The truth is, with little to no pressure, I work best. That’s when creativity starts flowing, time just disappears.

Trying to write a 500 words blog article? Massive procrastination, resistance.

Look at the word processor for an hour with no pressure to write? Article finished in record time.

By the way, the same thing happens when I’m heading to the gym intending to lift new records. It usually ends up being a bad workout and disappointing. However, with no pressure – even when I could barely get myself to go there at all – well, I’ve lifted record weights on those occasions.

There’s 2 approaches to getting started with anything. Either building up motivation to overpower resistance, or simply remove obstacles altogether. As you can probably tell, I am a proponent of the latter.

A friend once told me that in order to feel entitled to hot women, you have to tell yourself all the reasons why you are deserving. I told him that’s nonsense, why not remove that which is preventing you from believing in your entitlement in the first place.

Consumerism’s influence can’t be escaped, but there’s ways to remind myself daily of the absurdity and irrelevance of life.

Here are the best beliefs to read over daily, perhaps even print out.

  • Since death is inevitable, anything and everything I do is pointless.
  • Emotions and feelings are temporary and fleeting, the underlying contentment beyond all desire is consistent.
  • Nothing I do will ever make any damn difference on a universal scale.
  • Nothing matters.
  • If I don’t want to, I don’t have to. It really doesn’t matter which I choose.
  • Whether I achieve or not is irrelevant, it’s only temporary anyway.
  • Nothing I get or acquire will be kept, it’s all lost eventually.
  • Really it doesn’t matter whether I do this, achieve my goal or not.
  • Achieving goals, making progress is equally pointless as any other activity.
  • Life is empty and meaningless.
  • Nothing I do is significant in any way.
  • Time can’t be wasted as anything is pointless and serves no purpose.

How Cash Makes The Difference

Consumerism wants you to believe that material things are important, money is the solution to life’s problems and simply acquiring enough ultimately manifests a worry-free experience. The premise that once the external world changes for the better, so will the internal one, is at the basis of it all.

That’s certainly a pipe dream. Nevertheless, financial resources can make a significant difference to the experience of one’s life.

How true is that really?

Moving from a run-down bachelor apartment to a luxury penthouse is definitely an increase in quality of living. However, at a certain point familiarity is going to kick in and now all of it will simply become the new “normal”, it’s all business as usual.

As anyone I know, I’ve always wanted to earn more money, to enjoy financial freedom and do as I desire. However, I’ve never had a clear understanding of how that would specifically impact my life.

Realistically, consistent $5,000 profit per month are within reach – here’s a couple of changes that would be implemented immediately.

Invaluable Coaching

I know, this isn’t necessarily what others would do, but I’ve taken part in a 3 months diet coaching last year and it has been an incredible experience. Just knowing that there’s a diet coach holding me accountable made all the difference. After 3 months only, I ended up in the best shape of my life.

If finances would allow it, I would probably invest in ongoing coaching.

Once that is in place, the next obvious step is to eat higher quality foods, meaning fresh, organic vegetables, fruits and fish. Unless meals are quick and painless to prepare (e.g. in a rice cooker), I would eat out, buy them prepared or hire somebody to cook all the dishes.

Exploring The World

Currently, the only reason I’m not on the road is money. However, with sufficient, consistent income in place, I’d move out of my current¬†place permanently and continue traveling for an undefined period of time. First stop would be South East Asia, specifically Thailand, perhaps Vietnam and the Philippines.

There’s still so much to explore – women, culture, meeting like-minded travelers.

In particular, I would pay attention to renting a condo at a central location. I’ve had okay places in the past, but they weren’t top-notch or really close to anything with a constant stream of young girls around. Location matters a lot for meeting girls and getting them naked.

Sexual Exploits

While banging a hooker is always on my mind these days, it’s currently not an option. $5,000 to spend each month? That’s an entirely different story.

I’d probably get 2, or 3 hookers per week for an hour each – especially when I’m in Thailand where these kinds of services are dirt cheap. At $25 an hour, it’s worth the money.

Add to that a series of massages on a regular basis – everything from deep tissue to nuru, body-to-body and probably also prostate massages. It just shows that there’s so much I still haven’t experienced yet.

Following Passions

One of the things I’d absolutely love to do one day is to invite my parents (perhaps even close friends) to come and visit me at one of these exotic places. Bangkok was a great experiences, but it would’ve been nice would I have had the pleasure of sharing it with my family for a couple of days.

Doesn’t mean I’ll pay for all their costs, but at least subsidize their trip.

Finally, I really enjoyed capturing hidden camera videos when I was in Bangkok. Definitely something I want to expand on and continue more professionally, perhaps with a cameraman filming from the distance while audio is recorded through my voice recorder.

However, in addition to the current Qumox SJ4000, I’d probably have to buy or rent a camcorder with zoom function.

Can 11 Quick Lays Change Your Life?

Early this year, I’ve set out to accomplish a variety goals. Among the more outrageous ones, sleeping with a certain number of girls in a short period of time.

Specifically, 10 girls in 10 days.

The reasoning behind such a goal wasn’t just the fun, but also to see how beliefs, behaviors around women and in life overall would transform.

While the goal is still in progress, I’ve slept with almost a dozen women over the course of roughly 2 weeks.

Slowly, I am starting to realize the impact of these experiences – all of whom were positive and valuable. Continue reading “Can 11 Quick Lays Change Your Life?”