I’ve just spent 3 months straight in Patong, Phuket in order to get a feel for the place – and most importantly to determine how it compares to Bangkok and Pattaya in terms of nightlife options, freelancers and mongering in general.
During my stay, I’ve ‘tested‘ the following:
- Patong Beach Freelancers / Street Hookers
- Freelancer girls from Clubs (Illuzion Phuket, Tiger Disco)
- Patong Bar Girls / Gogo Bars
- Freelancer girls via Tinder
- Phuket Happy Ending Massage
- Soapy Massage Parlors in Phuket
- Guest-Friendly Hotels (Price $4-40 per Night)
Phuket is nothing like Bangkok or Pattaya, but still worth visiting!
Let’s get into the details.
Phuket (Patong) Nightlife
Bangla Road in Patong is the only nightlife area of interest. There are other streets on which you’ll find happy ending massage parlors and the odd Thai freelancers, but most of the action takes places directly on Bangla Road.
You find lots of beer bars, gogo bars and nightclubs here. Near the entrance, there are usually tons of freelancer girls and ladyboys.
You can’t miss them – in fact, most likely you’ll by grabbed by them as you walk along.
The major nightclub there is Illuzion Phuket which has no entrance fee and is open daily. Best time to visit is after midnight. Keep in mind, many of the girls inside Illuzion are working girls (aka hookers).
Here’s me with a girl I decide to take to Illuzion Phuket on a weekday.
To be honest, it’s not as exciting as it might look. I prefer going to the club by myself and meeting new girls – bringing a girl takes away that ‘uncertainty‘ factor.
Directly opposite of Illuzion is another freelancer nightclub called Tiger Disco. Also free entrance and packed with working girls.
In my opinion, Tiger Disco can’t compete with Club Illuzion in terms of vibe, size and quality of girls.
Opposite of Bangla Road is another freelancer club – Tai Pan Night Club. One Thai girl told me, they also call it ‘the old house‘.
I didn’t know what she meant until I stepped inside and noticed that the majority of girls were well above 35 and not particularly good-looking.
Let’s say you are not the type of guy that wants to party at nightclubs, what other options of meeting Thai girls do you have?
1. Patong Beach Freelancers / Street Hookers
You WILL find prostitutes on Patong Beach but the scenes is nothing compared to Beach Road in Pattaya. At any given night, at best there are only a dozen freelancers roaming the area next to the police station.
Most of the freelancers are directly on Bangla Road.
In this video, you see what I meant in terms of Patong Beach.
Prices for these Patong freelancers are usually 1,000 Baht for short time (ST).
In my experience the better looking freelancers can be found inside the various clubs (Illuzion, Tiger Disco) not at Patong Beach or on the streets.
2. Freelancers on Tinder
If you don’t want to go out at all, you can order an escort directly to your hotel room.
These are girls that essentially are freelancers working on their own using Tinder to find customers.
Prices range from 1,500 – 3,000 for overnight. Not bad.
If you want to save time and simply get the quality girls I have already tested (aka been with), the following spreadsheet is included in my Thailand Guide.
Simply add them on the Line app and most are eager to meet right away.
In regards to Tinder, you can also meet regular Thai girls and have sex entirely for free. Don’t believe anyone telling you that Phuket/Patong is hookers only.
While, yes, there are many freelancers around, that doesn’t mean all girls are.
Many regular Thai girls are in Phuket for an internship in the hospitality industry, which means they usually have no friends or family here = better chances for you 😉
3. Patong Bar Girls / Gogo Bars
Getting a girl from a bar is typically the most expensive option as you need to pay the barfine (in addition to paying the girl for her services).
Some of the girls are amazing on stage/dancing on the pole but then turn out to be a starfish.
Relative to Walking Street in Pattaya, Bangla Road isn’t as long, nor does it have as many bars. However, the following are a must-visit
- Suzy Wong’s A Go Go
- Crazy Horse Circus
- The Secret (Ping Pong Show 😉 )
In terms of prices, what can you expect in regards to Phuket nightlife? How much are drinks at various bars? How much for the barfine?
While prices vary from bar to bar, I’ve found the following to be good estimates.
Prices in Gogo Bars
- Drinks: 150-200 Baht
- Lady Drinks (LD): 200-250 Baht
- Barfine: 850-1200 Baht
Prices in Beer Bars
- Drinks: 75-110 Baht
- Lady Drinks (LD): 150-200 Baht
- Barfine: 600-800 Baht
4. Phuket Happy Ending Massage
Yes, there are happy massage places in Patong, Phuket – despite what many of the shops say on the outside ‘no sex’.
The majority of massage parlors in Patong have a sign on the outside that says ‘no sex‘ – once you walk past these massage parlors and have the massage girls grabbing you and touching your private area, you know what’s up …
The ‘no sex’ sign is just a facade to make Patong and Phuket in general appear more family-friendly and get away from the sex tourist image.
By the way, the same applies to street vendors offering sex drugs – of which there are literally none in Patong.
You can, however, get Cialis/Viagra at most pharmacies. Initial price will be 800 Baht per package (the Apcalis SX20 Cialis brand), you can easily get it down to 400 Baht!
5. Soapy Massage Parlors in Phuket
The only Soapy Massage Parlor in Phuket that is worth mentioning (and visiting) is Christin Massage.
It’s located about 15 minutes walking distance from Bangla Road and offers on OK selection of girls. This soapy massage parlor has a fishbowl and last time I went there, the price was 3,000 Baht for a 90 minute session.
Not too bad, but in my opinion Phuket is not the place to look for a soapy massage (or even a happy ending massage, for that matter).
6. Ladyboys in Phuket/Patong (WARNING!)
I am not into ladyboys (kathoey), so I can’t share my experience in that regards.
However, just walking along Bangla Road, you will notice that there are many (mostly aggressive) ladyboy freelancers.
This is fine directly on Bangla Road, however, it becomes an issue in more remote areas or if you are walking back to your hotel late at night.
Some of these ladyboys are taller then the average Western man and quite aggressive in regards to their approach. I am talking about grabbing you, or following you on a motorbike.
My recommendation is to always keep it friendly.
If you feel physically threatened, just play along, say you first want to go to 7-Eleven – and then use a good moment to sneak away.
Many guys who have never been to Thailand will read and laugh about this. You afraid of ladyboys, aka a guy that dresses up as a women?
You have to understand many of these ladyboys are not what you would expect them to be (as in simply being a gay person). Many are tall (6’1″ +) and very aggressive/manly in their approach.
Imagine a tall, horny man aggressively approaching a woman. The only difference here is that the guy looks like a woman and is into men.
The worst thing about this is that it always tends to be the unattractive ladyboys doing this. It’s almost never the ones that actually look good, which makes the experience even worse.
If the Thai ladyboy is pretty, I generally have no problem if he comes up to me. I will still decline the offer. However, if you see that it’s basically a guy with makeup and a wig, it’s scary to look at even from the distance.
Now image such a ladyboy coming up to you late at night – somewhere in a sidestreet … scary!
You will also come across ladyboys on Tinder – many of which will claim they are actual girls.
Phuket/Patong Guest-Friendly Hotels
Now that you know what your options are in regards to meeting Thai girls in Phuket, the question is where do you stay? Which hotels in Phuket are good and – most importantly – guest-friendly?
Guest-friendly means that you can bring female guests without paying an extra charge (so-called joiner-fee).
Patong has many inexpensive, guest-friendly hotels.
You can get an okay room at a guest-friendly hotel within walking distance to Bangla Road for less than $10 per night.
Here’s one that I’ve stayed at – the Patong Hotel Phuket. I paid $5.90 per night.
For additional recommendations, you can use the Interactive Phuket Map (included in my Thailand Guide) or ask me directly to help you plan your trip.
In terms of picking the right hotel, also think about what you want to do (with the girl).
There were some days on which I wanted to take a girl to my room but first spend a few hours at a nice rooftop pool.
On those days, I decided to stay at a more expensive hotel.
You can see the hotel at the very beginning of the video.
The second guest-friendly hotel I mention in the video is located directly opposite of Bangla Road. One of the best places to take girls (due to proximity) but not a place I would stay at long-term.
In fact, it’s so cheap you could even rent it as second room just for banging girls (and as such keeping your valuables safe in your main hotel).