My Worst Nuru Massage in Bangkok

The absolute worst experience – not only bad – but definitely a scam and borderline theft. Wow, you need to be warned.

When I left the massage place yesterday, I was in rage. I wanted revenge & tell everybody about this shitty place!

But then I took a step back, asked myself if my anger was justified. I am in the heat of emotions, is it right to put down this massage place, potentially ruin their reputation online, cause a loss of business?

I really thought about this … and pondered for a few days before I started making this video.

Simply because I did NOT want this to be a review where I am led by emotions, perhaps saying things I would regret later or that are exaggerated. The goal was to calm down & be as objective as possible.

So, is this review of my Nuru massage justified?

Yes, it is 100% percent justified. Why? While there were parts of the experience that I – subjectively speaking – did not enjoy, other parts were factually a scam.

Bangkok Massage Girls
Don’t get too excited – the girls always looked better on the website (as is the case with most massage places).

I would not have felt comfortable putting out such a negative review purely based on something like, “I didn’t like the girl” because that is subjective – somebody else might enjoy it.

However, when you are paying 1,700 for a 1 hour Nuru massage & that massage is less than 5 minutes long, that IS a scam – objectively speaking – and you can’t argue otherwise.

That’s why I feel all negative consequences stemming from this video are deserved.

You might say, maybe it was just this one girl – why put down the entire massage place? I asked myself the same question.

But you know what, when Samsung’s phone catches fire, they can’t say “oh, it’s not our fault, Jimmy from development was working on that model!”. Of course THEY are to blame, take the hit, loss of sales, etc.

And so, in my opinion the entire massage place is responsible to hold every girl there to up to high standards.

The other thing is that on their website they have Nuru Massage listed with 700 Baht – same on the pricing sign inside their shop … but what they only tell you right before paying is that you have to pay extra for the girl. Basically, 1000 Baht extra.

Snow White Massage Soi 26 Bangkok
Snow White Massage Website

The Website Pricing Scam

This is not something I can prove (so take it with a grain of salt), but it is possible that this pricing model is another trick.

They list only the massage costs on the website (looks very cheap), knowing very well that once a guy is in their shop, he is likely to pay the entire 1,700 Baht.

Massage places that operate in such a way deserve reviews like this, not just to help other guys save their money but also in the interest of other massage places that provide quality services.

Those places should gain the customers that shady business are losing.

The massage place I am talking about is Snow White Massage at Sukhumvit Soi 26.

My Experience

So, let me start at the beginning. I went in, was greeted by the receptionist & immediately said I was interested in the Nuru massage & asked if it was still 700 Baht as stated on their website.

This was confirmed, but she also said 1,000 extra for the girl.

After asking why extra, she could not explain why & simply said, “extra for the girl”.

Many alternative massage places in the same area and within walking distance.

The girl I picked was the best-looking one of the 7 girls available … until she undressed. Once we were in the room, I had to wait what felt like 5 minutes as she went outside to grab her massage stuff, oil, towels, etc.

Why is this not ready?

I don’t want to wait there! Soap, towels, Nuru gel … come on, nothing complicated here – it shouldn’t take that long IMO.

I don’t want to focus much on the girls looks because that’s subjective. Somebody else might have liked her … instead I will talk about what was wrong with the service itself.

Okay, so we undress & hop into the shower. Why does this always feel like a waste of time? I just want to shower quickly & get to the actual massage.

At most massage places I’ve been to, it always makes me feel I’m 95 years old and my caretaker is cleaning me … and it always feels like they are playing on time.

Anyway.

After the shower, we continue on the bed. She starts putting oil on my legs & massaging them, then continues with my lower body & also starting to play with my member a little bit. So far, so good. Natural progression.

Nuru Massage – The Sex

Then she sits on me & rides me. Continuously. Like WTF? All that while I had my hand between my member & her genitals fearing that it might slip in accidentally.

But she continued riding.

Like that was supposed to be it. So, since I have my hand to cover my member, she is essentially sitting on my hand and still riding.

She also used the Nuru gel so sparingly, that I had to put my hands into the bowl and apply it on both our bodies.

At this point, I was already done.

I knew this was complete shit, and needed to take control of the situation otherwise she would’ve keep “riding” indefinitely.

Then I simply asked her for a condom, it had gotten too ridiculous. Condom on, she simply continues riding me. This is not a Nuru massage. In fact, it’s not a massage at all.

I am annoyed and simply put it in, then change positions 2x & finish. That was it – the entire massage experience I paid for.

That was what I consider SCAM & why this negative review is well-deserved.

Now onto the “subjective” part of the experience – what I personally didn’t like but others might feel differently.

What I Didn’t Like (YMMV)

The girl looked way nicer dressed & not nice at all when undressed. Not her fault, of course it’s only natural to dress nicely but it goes back to my original recommendation that it’s better to pick girls from gogo bars where they aren’t wearing anything.

You can still get a poor service but at least in terms of looks, you are 100% safe.

The actual service – as I have alluded – was complete shit/scam …

… but then they focus on stuff that doesn’t actually matter. Like asking multiple times if you want water or being super nice when opening the door when you leave.

Did not know how to put a condom on.

You are supposed to roll it of, not put your fingers inside and wrap it around the penis. When you do something like this, it’s fucking weird. I came & since there is no space in the reservoir on top of the condom, it feels really strange.

Now imagine if you’re coming to Thailand only once a year, or it’s a once in a lifetime thing … and then you encounter massage places like this one. You’d certainly be disappointed.

Take Your $$$, Go Elsewhere

It doesn’t really get any worse than this.

I’ve had a good experience at Dream Heaven Massage – check out my review here.

Dream Heaven Massage Bangkok
Entrance of Dream Heaven Massage – 10 minutes walking distance from Phrom Phong BTS.

On this site, I give recommendations … but I also warn people in regards to what to avoid. This is one of those warnings – so you can take your money & go elsewhere – hopefully have a great service & be satisfied.

Most guys don’t have the reach, the audience & impact I have at my disposal with this site. They might post about their negative experience & only a handful of guys read it.

If you take into account how many guys have already / will fall for a place like this, you can imagine the thousands of dollars that have been left on the table.