110 Days Meditation – My Experience, Benefits

He had taken things to a new level. Quite literally.

Rising above thought, doing the impossible.

As he burned he never moved a muscle, never uttered a sound, his outward composure in sharp contrast to the wailing people around him.

On June 11, 1963,  Buddhist monk Thích Quảng Đức sat down in the middle of an intersection, had gasoline poured over and burned himself to death.

I didn’t plan to go out in style, but couldn’t deny the power of meditation anymore. It doesn’t just work, but does so in very powerful and life-changing ways. Real changes occurring during meditation – the ability to maintain crystal clear focus and calmness even in the face of extreme situations.

Most problems are mind-made and becoming more present to the moment became my way of tackling them.

Lunch Break At The Mall

It’s not hard to figure out what people must have thought. After all, I had sat there staring straight ahead, not even flinching once. 20 minutes – as if I were in another world.

People started looking. I was the weird guy.

Spending my lunch break in the mall had become a daily meditation practice. Comfortable sofas and away from work, I sat down in an effort to becoming more present. Not the best environment, but a challenge to my willpower.

Open-eye meditation – staring right through the entrance of a clothing store – had become my preferred style. With a bit of practice, I was able to have people walk through my field of vision without getting distracted.

This ability become more solid over time, where I would rarely feel tempted to tilt left or right. If I did, it was for some really hot piece of ass. The real challenge was looking as little psycho as possible, so that staff wouldn’t inform security and get me kicked out.

Closing my eyes – something I had never tried.

While visual distractions were never much of an issue, I had a hard time focusing on my breathing. I decided to close my eyes and focus on my body. That became easier, but also to drift off. Too easy.

In fact, I had to change things again because losing myself in thoughts became the norm.

Time to ditch the stopwatch.

I had started out using a timer for exactly 20 minutes each session. When I switched to counting breaths, focus rose to another level. Instead of sitting still for a certain period, the goal became counting to 250 breaths – while not losing count of the number. This was a great way of focusing on breathing.

Occasionally, I would even do challenges to see how far I could take things. The records is at 3,000 breaths, which must have taken me at least an hour to reach.

The Real Benefits

Whatever I was doing, it was easier and quicker to get into the flow state. Daily meditation didn’t magically solve all my problems, but it has made me significantly calmer – especially in pressure situations.

Rising above thinking and becoming aware of my own reactions happened naturally more often, but still took effort.

Once immersed in a difficult situation, it was easier dealing with it, but stepping out of my comfort zone – that first step – was just as hard. Before starting the practice, my expectation was to be able to see through the illusions of fear and anxiety, and proceed with easy.

Maybe I haven’t practiced long enough, but I certainly wasn’t even close to having these abilities.

Nowadays, I don’t move around nervously as most people do. I will sit still, breathe and experience my body. The real challenge is not cracking up when I see other people flinch or constantly shift posture.

Using Questions To Reinvent Yourself

It was one of the things I didn’t pay particular attention to, at least initially, but came across time and again. No doubt, questions don’t seem spectacular or particularly useful in our daily experience of life.

A single question doesn’t seem to have a lot of impact, or so it seems. Yet, if the same question is asked over and over again, it will most certainly effect how you feel, act and the results you produce. Most of this is happening without our awareness, like an unconscious pattern.

Asking and answering questions in our heads, is, simply put, what we consider “Thinking”. We all do it, all the time and mostly without consciously directing the orchestra. The overwhelming majority of our thinking is habitual, unconscious and repeated day after day.

In order to actively take control of this process, we need to be aware of our thinking – in particular of the questions we ask repeatedly throughout the day. This is even more important when dealing with negative thinking patterns.

It could be something like

  • “Will I mess it up again?”

or

  • “What could go wrong here?”

Admittedly, there’s probably a place and time for any question. However, when you go into a social situation asking yourself what could go wrong, you’re just asking for trouble.

Instead, one could ask,

  • What will be fun about this interaction?

or

  • How can I amuse myself talking to these people?

Much better, yet it also depends on the context. Probably inappropriate for a business meeting. Anyway, you get the idea.

However, even beyond that, I’ve found that quality questions are often the catalyst for positive change. A lot of times when I felt frustrated for couple of days in a row, I probably asked myself something like

  • Why do I have to do this?

or

  • Why am I not living the lifestyle I want?

And asking myself these questions, I literally never break the cycle of frustration or deal with whatever is bothering me.

Instead, asking,

  • What am I currently dissatisfied about that I need to address urgently?

will yield a specific answer, something I can take immediate action on and improve.

  • The quality of our lives is the quality of the questions we ask ourselves on a consistent basis.

If I am constantly thinking (asking myself) why it is so difficult for me to meet women and whether I will ever be able to fix this – it will only yield an answer of the same quality.

However, if I pause and actually come up with a quality question, such as,

  • How can I fundamentally change how I interact with women by starting with small, simple steps and building up each day for an extended period of time?

or

  • How can I make meeting women more enjoyable?

– Then totally new answers come to mind, ones that lead in a completely different direction and stimulate thinking about new possibilities.

Questions won’t change your life overnight, but they are an easy way to shift thinking. This is especially useful when you’re in a negative state of mind. Coming up with a better question about the situation will most likely instantly change how you feel.

Making The Journey Enjoyable

An essential part of life consists of achieving certain milestones – the goals we’ve set for ourselves. And while the journey will always be paved with obstacles and surprises, it can still be an enjoyable experience. The daily routines and rituals make up most of what we call life, moments where ends are met only a fraction.

Thus, there is no denying that daily routines are super important.

Goals are the content of life, routines are the frameworks through which they are achieved. Both are equally important and closely intertwined.

Most of my current frustrations are related to this. While I am well on track with most of my goals, my current lifestyle and routines are still far from what I’d like them to be. I’ve sat down and thought about what such an ideal day would look like.

Setting: warm climate and low costs of living.

I wake up to sunshine around noon, down a large glass of water, get my BCAAs (for fasted training) and head off to the gym. Every day is workout day, however, I only do heavy lifting 3 times per week. On the other days, I do ultra light cardio, simply to break a sweat and as cardiovascular training.

Afterwards, I take a shower and get myself fresh. It’s still lunchtime and I am ready for a quality meal consisting of fresh, organic vegetables and a protein source (e.g. salmon). On workout days, I add significantly more carbohydrates.

Now that I’ve taken care of my body, I spend the entire afternoon working on a variety of projects. I might do that in a library, or a co-working space with like-minded people around, whom I’ve already met. Some of them are friends I hang out with regularly. On some days, I am outside creating video content, or doing social experiments. When needed, I call up a cameraman – especially when I need to do hidden camera work or be in the picture myself.

Work ends around 8, which is when I get my second and last meal of the day. I am joined by friends or a girl I am dating. Again, only the best fresh and organic food. I switch meals occasionally, simply for variety and to have a more balanced diet. The foods I eat are fresh off the streets or from a restaurant. Additional supplements are taken daily.

The rest of the day is spent winding down. I might go on a date, meet a female friend or friends in general. Eventually, I might go out clubbing or simply enjoy the city with company.

My daily rituals are habitual, I enjoy a consistent sleep schedule and get plenty of quality sleep each night. When I wake up, I am well rested and ready to tackle the day!

This is it, my ideal day. Far from what I am living now, but doesn’t seem unrealistic either. I am looking forward to my Thailand trip, which I will use to spend an entire month experiencing and seeing first-hand whether I actually like this lifestyle!

Pay Sex: My Experience With Hookers

The first girl I fucked was a hooker. There I said it.

Frankly, it was a huge deal at the time. I haven’t been intimate with or even kissed a girl and wanted to get it over with. There were simply too many questions that I wanted to have answered, so I forced myself. Pay Sex seemed like the quickest solution to  my problem. With my heart racing and whole body shaking, it took over 6 attempts to finally get the job done.

No, it wasn’t fun at all.

Standing outside the brothel, I couldn’t get myself to go in.

Questions racing through my mind.

  • Will anybody see me go in?
  • Will there be a group of women staring at me once I go through the door?

Only a couple of weeks earlier, this would’ve been the last thing I could see myself doing. Despite having no other options to get laid, I told myself, I wouldn’t be that much of a loser having to pay for sex.

Now, about to enter the whorehouse, it has become an alternative gateway to get comfortable around women, gain experience and solve a host of related problems, or so I thought.

On the 3rd visit, I finally went in. And realized that…

…it was NOTHING like I thought it would be.

It actually looked more like a hotel, each girl had her own room with pictures attached to the outside of the door. You could simply browse through the entire house and see if you liked anything.

There were other guys flocking in too. Regular guys, not the low life losers I had pictured in my mind.

Still, the idea of actually having sex was too nerve-wrecking. At some point, I just knocked at a door and asked about the prices. Then I left, the girl pretty pissed that I just wasted her time.

A couple days later, I went to another girl (there’s a weekly rotation), but this time she declined, saying that she senses we’re not a match. I was still nervous as hell.

I took a different approach next time and started with a blowjob. From there on, it was easier and I went for the full package the next time.

However, nothing worked as planned (especially not my dick), so even the first 2 times when I had intercourse, I could not get it up – too nervous.

Needless to say, I had lots of misconceptions about pay sex, the women involved and overall the entire experience.

Loser Do Pay Sex

I am undesirable, no other woman will take me.

Paying a women for sex is the last resort of a man failing to get laid. Once you do it, you are branded for life.

Admittedly, there’s probably a percentage of these men. They simply see no other feasible way to get laid (with the women they want.) It might be the age difference or a specific fetish – there’s many reasons.

However, people I know who have or still occasionally pay for sex, are almost exclusively doing extremely well with the ladies. Some of them are dating coaches, others get laid every weekend. For them, it’s not a big deal, they get laid anyway and paying a hooker doesn’t magically make them a loser.

Not a single fuck is given. (Besides the one paid for.)

Guys that struggle with women – that’s a different story. For them, paying for sex is a dent to their self image. They would rather miss out on experiences, or argue about how it’s just a wimp’s way to avoid rejection, than, you know, just giving it a try and deciding afterwards.

Prostitutes might be able to offer different sexual experiences than regular girls. After all, fucking is what they do all day long, it’s what they are supposed to be good at.

STDs – Nasty Souvenirs

Any time you get intimate with someone, there are risks involved. Contracting something nasty has been a major concern.

At the same time, I believe to be much safer with hookers than regular girls. The places I went to require these professionals to have protected sex – under penalty of getting banned from the establishment. These women were very strict, at times even anal about hygiene and protection.

This makes perfect sense. Their income depends on their health (certificate).

Consider the average girl who isn’t quite as seasoned to always act rationally. It’s easy to get overwhelmed during foreplay and skip using a condom.

She rationalized, this is a rare occasion, it doesn’t even matter.

Then you hear,

We don’t need this, I just want to feel you.

A proven recipe for playing the disease lottery.

Crack Whores – Only A Myth?

Few women fantasize about fucking dirty old man for money. Prostitution exist due to lack of better alternatives.

There’s not many other ways for a women to earn money that quickly. Perhaps doing porn, or marring rich.

A regular job would only provide a fraction of that income.

I am talking about $100-200+ per hour.

They aren’t obligated to take every customer, I’ve experienced it first-hand.

What makes these women different to regular girls is mainly their good looks and high self-confidence. Yes, they are normal to talk to.

Street hookers are a different breed.

I haven’t tried any yet and probably never will. This is where stereotypes of HIV infected, heroine addicted whores might actually be true. Perhaps not the best place to get your pay sex journey started.

  • I rather pay a bit more, get quality and stay safe.

Hookers aren’t that different to people you meet anywhere else.

You like and connect with some of them, others you can’t stand. Except for one occasion, all of the women I banged looked exactly as promoted on their pictures. They were all, more or less, trying to provide a good service.

Given you have realistic expectations and are fairly normal, you can expect an overall good experience. By realistic expectations, I mean you don’t think she’ll do more than agreed upon, or even meet you in private for a free bang.

In conclusion, taking money out of the equation and unless you have a constant stream of premium girls, pay sex is definitely worth the experience. There’s so much to see and do that you won’t get anywhere else.

Beyond sexual practices and fetishes, there’s all sorts of erotic massages. Hell, even I have only experienced a tiny portion of what’s available out there.

Perhaps the biggest risk with pay sex is that once you’ve had a naked hooker in bed, most regular girls will pale in comparison. Your standards will certainly be different afterwards.