American (56) Visits Thailand! – EPIC 26 Day Thailand Holiday [+PICS]

This Thailand trip report is from a YouTube subscriber. – Quite a unique trip (including a few negative experiences).

I have added my comments at the very bottom.

Thailand Vacation Holiday USA Thailand

Preview & Key Points

  • Met Girl From ThaiFriendly in Chiang Mai
  • Scammed at Patpong; paid $60 for six beers
  • Hook-Up w/ Lady from 7-Eleven (Spontaneous)
  • Visits to Bangkok, Pattaya & Chiang Mai

Igniting The Fire

Traveling to Asia was slow in developing.

My tolerance is very low for arduous time in an orbiter. That has limited me to only travel within my hemisphere.

Territory well covered through the years.

With very few exceptions, I’ve visited most of Latin America and Europe. For business, I traveled extensively also in the U.S.

I’m still relatively young (56 ) and I’m now semi-retired. I still work, but not as much.

Unlike in the past, the typical corporate allowance for vacation suddenly became unlimited.

Flight USA Thailand Direct

Under previous constraints, 24 hr travel in each direction killed entertaining traveling beyond the international dateline.

The other personal development is the maturation of man and tastes that develop in that process.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles and have always been exposed to various forms of things Asian.

In my youthful ignorance, I ignored it, and disdained.

Korean Girl Bangkok Thailand

I can’t pinpoint any epiphany what made me totally change my mind. If forced, I recall an early morning hike up Mt. Hollywood.

At dawn, I came across an attractive young Korean gal, doing exercise stances along with her supplied (Asian) music.

At that point, I realized I’m a total ignorant of the most populous quadrant of the planet.

More importantly, I knew in my heart, it was beautiful.

It changed my perspective.

Since then, I dummy-downed and moved to Florida. I spend most of my time in Greater Orlando, and at times in my condo between Miami Beach & Key Biscayne.

I mention that because between LA & Miami, I’ve seen stuff.

Miami, more than LA, has a similar lure that Thailand has ….. and the same challenges in addition to being 60X more expensive than Bangkok in relative terms.

Now as far as my first journey to Thailand …. here I go.

First Thailand Visit

I had three months to prepare for my trip of 26 days.

Like I always do, I get off on planning a trip. Managing logistics and planning out a format is exciting.

The problem with that, there is always wrinkles and bad hops no matter how well you prepare.

My first trip to Thailand off memory was; four days Bangkok. That was followed my four days in Pattaya/Jomtien.

Jomtien was a total mistake …….

That was followed by two weeks and the foundation and bones of my trip. A fortnight in Chiang Mai was bliss. My last four nights was settled to be spent in Bangkok.

Half my travel budget in hand with a few days remaining, depression set in not looking to the long journey back home.

I prepaid my lodging and allocated $6000 for expenses and a couple of internal flights.

Like many on their initial trip, mistakes are inevitable.

When I arrived at my Airbnb condo at 340A, I showered and was on the 550A train to Ayuttahaya.

After ~30 hours of no sleep, I awoke back at Hua Lampong station, in a stupor with cleaning ladies cleaning a train compartment. Lucky that train didn’t continue to another port.

Once I cleared my brain’s cob-webs, I realized I wasn’t dreaming.

To myself, I said,

“I’m in fucking Bangkok!”

Something I well prepared for.

Gathered myself, went to nearest 7-11 to get a SIM card and get back on patch and seek some sleep. I’ll spare why I didn’t get sim card at airport. My luggage didn’t arrive either.

Moving on closer to King Epic’s domain…. but before I do, I bathed with Elephants, took a Thai cooking class, hiked about the Opium trail, and had a legit massage at Wat Pho. It wasn’t a monger trip.

As part of my research and preparation, I chanced upon Thai Friendly. LOL!

I clutched unto a gal in Chiang Mai. Through the LINE app, we got to know each other better, and video chatted a few months before my arrival.

I actually grew fond of her.

LINE App Thailand Thai Girl

Prior to Chiang Mai, I still had eight days before heading north. After recouping from Ayutthaya and some sleep, I hit up Patpong my first night, as I was lodging in Silom.

I peeked through curtains and got a sense of what I read about. Nothing worthwhile other than supermarket one Soi off.

After walking the extension of that drag, I hailed a tuk-tuk to Soi Cowboy.

It reminded me of downtown Las Vegas.

After a few lady drinks, that wasn’t going to proceed to much further, I hailed another tuk-tuk to Nana. The beer garden was under construction.

I reconnoitered the property and settled on entering Straps.

Soi Cowboy Gogo Girls Bangkok

Most of the gals that night there were totally outstanding. A gal latched onto me. She had a most beautiful face, but her body type was not of my preference.

She was on the skinny side. Was there for 1/2 hour.

And while she did all her tricks to buy time with her, there were four gals on stage.

Those might of made my fork out the dough. Instead, I excused myself and headed over to Soi Arab for some eats.

On my second night, I got got a late start and headed to Patpong.

Things were wrapping up there, and I wanted a few brewski’s. Then I committed my first mistake.

Patpong Scam Thailand

As a seasoned traveler, I saw no harm of this tout that approached me as I was walking back to my Airbnb.

He said he’d show and take me to bars (speak easy types) that are open. I saw no harm.

Ping Pong Show Scam Patpong

Once there I was confronted with aggressive tactics by the owner. I was cool with buying the tout a beer …

… but the bar owner wanted me to by him one too. I said no.

Then he called his stable of girls and paraded them in front of me. I learned in my research it’s a no-no to confront Thai’s … especially if I notice three other guys lurking around.

I pulled the owner aside and told him frankly, I just wanted a beer and will not be enticed into anything more than that. I told him I’d buy him a beer, and take a couple to go.

KING EPIC COMMENT: Below are snapshots of a hidden camera video I’ve filmed at Patpong, Bangkok. You can see that the tout was trying to bait me to go into one of the bars.

Bangkok Patpong Ping Pong Scam

Also, he had a second piece of paper with Thai massage ladies. Full video included here.

It’s always best to simply ignore these touts as they won’t take no for an answer.

Bangkok Patpong Bar Scam

I mentioned I just arrived, tired and will be back for the gal in the pale pink dress the next evening.

My tab for six beers was $60.

Walked back to my condo with three Changs in a bag and told the lingering tout to f-off…

WRONG Location.

My second mistake was lodging in Jomtien.

I decided on the Pattaya region for some chill time. I went to Koh Larn on two of the days.

As I live in FL, beaches were not a priority. It was built-into my itinerary as a rest stop before I headed up north.

I did manage finding quiet decent beaches away from the hordes of Chinese in Koh Larn. That was an OK pleasant.

My condo in Jomtien was two blocks from the beach. My first afternoon, I find myself strolling talking in the scene and wondering if I’m in Thailand or Russia.

I’m used to Russian oligarchs in Miami, but this was low-end.

Anyways and strolling, I’m seeing what is common in Miami, especially at the beaches upon the front of causeway to Key Biscayne.

Just family and friends setting up and eating/ drinking at the beach. Chatted up with a friendly girl in her mid 30’s on that beach road.

She was a working girl. I declined but we shot a pleasant breeze.

Thai Girl Bangkok Thailand

Said good-bye to her, and continued walking N on that beach road.

After 20 meters, I run into her again. This time she has a skewer of fish balls, and offered me some.

We hit it off and ordered more skewers. Half and hour later, I’m on back of her scooter towards my condo, and my first Thai fuck.

After we showered again, I gave her 1500 THB even though I said I ain’t paying. Her initial quote was 1000 at first encounter.

Walking Street in Pattaya

The next night, I jumped on a motorbike taxi to Walking Street.

I stuck my feet in a tank and let bacteria eating fishes have their way. Two young guys from Jersey sat next to me.

They shared their ambitious plans how they were going to conquer Pattaya.

I wished them well, as an old geezer holding hands with a gal 30 years younger passed by.

Pattaya Nightlife Walking Street

With bacteria free feet, I set onto Walking Street for the first time. I took in the sensations, but was not impressed, much less overtaken. Spend most of that “excursion” at Hot Tuna.

Lam Morrison was there. Stayed there awhile as the rock was rolling. Bought Morrison a Corona.

He was playing “over the rainbow” and he gave me a wai. I sent that video exchange to an old friend … E Van Halen. He thumbed up.

I stumbled into Sapphire Club, and it was USDA prime quality.

It was worthy, and the full extent of that was a gorgeous gal pulling everything out of here bag to barfine her.

I declined the overtures and went back to the Jomtien condo.

Made a pit-stop at 7-11 and flirted with the teller. Her shift was ending and we f’d like rabbits the next two days. We still video chat on LINE to this day.

LINE App Thailand

That aside, I plan to return to Pattaya and really explore it, and actually stay in Pattaya. I didn’t have a chance to cross Soi 6, LK, or Soi Buakhao off my list.

I did manage going back to Walking Street on my last night. It was a night cap at iBar, then I moved on to their disco. Nothing notable, other than I’ll return and do it right.

Well rested, I made it to Chiang Mai a day before Songkran festivities.

I met up with the gal I’ve been chatting with, and we had a great fortnight. That relation out of respect, I’ll keep private.

CM was the highlight of my trip and exceeded expectations.

I think it’s apparent, I’m not a monger or take an arduous long flight to get laid. At the same time, I don’t buy totally into you – but I see the economic argument.

I’m currently in Miami, where it’s 80F. There’s some weather vortex heading to northern part of country that is going to flush people my way. It’s high season here.

That also means out-of-town attractive women at the clubs. Pattaya has a joint called ” Miami” for a reason.

I also seen similar in BKK. Women are hotter here – but the cost of bottle service here is the equivalent of a 7-way in Thailand.

Maybe my biggest mistake on my initial trip, was not realizing that value. And maybe allow a mongering moment or two on next trip.

In the end, relativity has value.

I got Issan, Hua Hin and Pattaya, and obviously Bangkok on tap for next trip in May/June.


Interesting and lengthy trip report.

For most people, visiting too many cities will be detrimental to the quality of their Thailand trip. Usually, I recommend the Bangkok-Pattaya combination.

If you’re staying for longer than 2 weeks, you can visit Phuket as well.

Any additional cities and in my opinion, you are moving around too much and don’t have enough time to explore each city.

Bangkok in particular, has a lot to offer and if you really want to get a feel for the city, you need at least one week.

Lastly, a word about talking to Thai girls on ThaiFriendly (online dating sites).

I am not saying this is a mistake or that you shouldn’t do it, but many guys think the longer they’ve been talking to a girl, the more solid the ‘relationship’ is.

Many girls will tell you that they will definitely meet up with you once you’re in Thailand. Once that moment comes around, they are suddenly not so interesting anymore …

I am not saying this is always the case, but keep that in mind.

Most girls I have met off ThaiFriendly (and Tinder in Thailand), I started talking to a few days prior, sometimes the same day.

Unless you genuinely enjoy talking to Thai girls for weeks/months prior to your trip, don’t do it.