Ah, the age-old question of what to do on dates …
Are you a true gentleman and pay? Do you split the bill? What is the right thing to do?
Pay for the date because the little money doesn’t matter? Don’t pay because you don’t want to encourage girls to meet up JUST to get free dinner?
There is no definitive right answer, but I’ll share a few scenarios and my thoughts on the question. Then, you can decide what’s best for you moving forward …
In my opinion, there are 4 aspects to consider:
1. Expensive Date = More & Hotter Girls
The more value the proposed date has, the more girls will be willing to meet with you. Value can be anything fun, exciting, or just drinks, or a fancy dinner date.
Let’s take the example of dinner. If you invite girls to cheap dinner date at a street food stall, a certain percentage of girls will be up for it. If you invite girls to fancy dinner at a luxury restaurant, you can expect significantly more girls willing to say yes.
In that sense, the more you are willing to spend on dates, the wider of a net you are casting. This can give the illusion that you are doing well with girls when really it is not you, but THE DATE ITSELF that attracts the girls.
This leads me to the second discussion point …
2. Fancy dates (can) encourage gold diggers.
Fancy dinner dates for example will get you more girls in general and more attractive girls as well.
But there is a problem …
The more you offer on a first date, the more difficult it is to determine if the girl is genuinely interested in you. The opposite is also true: If you strip away all the exciting parts, you can be sure any girl that shows up really does so because of you.
That is why I like very basic dates, think walks in the park, going to a market, etc.
A girl who meets up with you for some boring stuff really likes you; it is very unlikely that there is an ulterior motive and the “looking for money” aspect that many guys worry about is eliminated (for the most part).
Some guys might say they don’t care if the girl is genuinly interested in them – they just offer the dinner date to get laid. Makes sense, but then why not go directly to a happy ending massage if whether or not the girl likes you doesn’t matter to you?
The guys who are against paying for fun usually say they don’t like it because there is no real attraction. The girl doesn’t really like them. She is JUST doing it for the money.
Yes … but if you are offering a fancy dinner date and it’s impossible to know if the girl likes you, or is just showing up because of the date … how is that SIGNIFICANTLY different to just paying her directly?
3. Fancy Dates & Prostitution … The Lines Are Blurry
We have established that the fancier the date you offer, the more girls will be willing to meet you. Also, the hotter the girls will be.
You know what else will get you more hot girls? Offering money.
This is precisly where the line between a date with a normal girl and paying a girl becomes incredibly blurry. At what point is it a scenario where basically you are paying the girl in an indirect way?
If she is meeting (and hooking up) with you because of the date ITSELF, how does that differ from straight up paying for a service?
Again, I have no answer for this question which is why I prefer to take the shortcut of simply going on basic dates where such issues don’t exist.
4. High Investment = High Expectations
The final aspect has to do with expectations.
The more you invest,
the higher your expectations.
Knowing that you’ve invested a lot might create a strong attachment to the outcome to the point where you don’t enjoy the experince anymore.
Imagine treating the girl to a fancy dinner and then NOT getting laid … it would feel like a total disappointment and waste of money.
Even if you get laid, it can feel like you’ve only gotten what was expected and as such wasn’t exciting.
Compare this with a very basic date: You don’t put in much effort, nor money and your expectations are low. Anything that happens is exciting.
To sum up, I like basic dates. I am not against paying for dates, it is just that when you do that, the dynamic becomes more complex and it is hard to figure out the girls true motive.
Of course, when you are in Thailand, a fancy dinner doesn’t actually cost a lot of money, but that’s not the point. Paying for a sexual service also doesn’t cost a lot of money but guys won’t do it because they argue that the girl doesn’t like them.
So, how is a fancy dinner date where it’s unclear what the girls motivation is any different? Let me hear your thoughts …