I recall the moment I sat at the kitchen table with my dad. At 15 years old, I wanted his permission to drink alcohol.
Not that I actually wanted to consume any, I just wanted to be allowed to. Weird logic, I know. Prohibition made drinking the coolest thing at the time.
I never drank much, quit entirely at around age 18 and had less than 4 alcoholic drinks since then. The experience isn’t just worth it. Going out, pouring down drinks and slowly experiencing a blur. There’s better ways to spend $20/hour.
With all inhibitions dropped, it was never about expanding my comfort zone, because there wasn’t any. Zero room for personal improvement. I got really drunk one time, vomited and finally had enough of this crap.
Seeing friends and other people getting wasted is amusing, I have to admit. Shy guys start flirting with girls, other friends get laid through liquid confidence. Some remarkably often.
I am watching all this unfold with a front row seat at the freak show. Still, standing there by myself, totally in the grip of fear, liquor doesn’t appeal to me at all.
Why I Stay Sober
Fucking girls. Having fun. These are the only reasons I go out at all. I don’t see the point in any of this, if I’m not fully aware of the experience.
Would you accept the following deal?
For $50 you get to have an amazing experience, but won’t remember it afterwards. How does that sound?
It’s like having a lucid dream, but not recalling it the next morning.
#1 – My Body, My Temple
Drinking – as in “a night of drinking” – is incredibly unhealthy despite being legal and socially accepted. In fact, this is the very thing that makes it seem harmless. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. No surprise then that illicit drugs such as MDMA and weed are far less dangerous.
If you’re still not convinced, check out “Countdown to Delirium” – a great BBC documentary that covers 20 of the most dangerous drugs in terms of addiction potential, health risks and social repercussions.
Here’s how alcohol ranks in comparison to other drugs. The list starts with the most dangerous one.
- 1st – Heroine
- 5th – Alcohol
- 11th – Cannabis
- 18th – MDMA “Extasy”
Knowing about the risks involved, drinking isn’t a long term solution and thus not an option. I am not interested in a one-time solution but something I can rely on repeatedly. If it were healthy, I’d perhaps reconsider.
#2 – The Price ISN’T Right
I am the cheapest guy you will ever meet. If the value for money isn’t extraordinary, I’ll simply let the opportunity pass. Drinking is just flat out a money sink. Even if you drink before going out, you will average $25 a night. That’s not a lot, but what do you get in return?
- An night of fun that you can’t recall the next day?
- Sex with a chick that you don’t remember?
This is bullshit. I can have fun with friends anywhere and especially without getting wasting. If I am in it for the sex, I will go sober or get a hooker for the same money… and a better experience.
A quick personal story to further emphasize my point. The people I go out with frequently spend $80 on booze per night. That happens around 3-4 times per month.
I enjoy traveling the world and instantly see what could be done with the money instead.
- $150 – 2 Days in Prague
- $500 – 7 Days in Bucharest
- $1,000 – 20+ Days in Thailand
These are very real numbers and I personally know even more extreme cases. The colleague I used to work with considers himself a moderate party goer. You know, perhaps going out once a week with friends. Nothing special.
I am always interested in numbers and so we did a quick calculation. From 18 to 35, with “average” spending habits, he had burned through $40,000. All things taken into account, I still think that’s a conservative calculation.
I must totally look like a party killer. Spending money isn’t the issue, I just prefer deeper and more meaningful experiences.
#3 – You Are Not You
You see this when it’s usually already too late. People start drinking, get result with women and use it as a crutch thereafter. Initially, this pattern looks innocent. You are simply drinking more often now – eventually it becomes dependance.
I recently noticed it in a close friend who never drank much in the prior years. Now he seems to exclusively rely on liquor to have fun. He ends up completely wasted a couple of times per month, yet at the same time tries to live and eat healthy.
I can’t stand drunk people – especially men. Women are fine, they only end up being more touchy-feely. What I find annoying is guys suddenly acting all confident and bold when they are the complete opposite sober.
Ultimately, knowing how to have fun and do what you want to do without reliance on alcohol is the ONLY solution. After all, approaching girls during the day has to be done sober – at least in my book.
#4 – Riding The Wave
The intensity and experience of hitting a home run completely sober is just incomparable. I don’t like going to loud clubs, but had one of the best nights in one.
I felt completely down that night, but decided to go at it again and approach a few cuties. Without any expectations, I ended up spending the entire night with only the 3rd girl I talked to. We didn’t have sex, but it was still amazing.
The variety and intensity of emotions felt throughout the night would’ve just been dulled down had I used alcohol.
What’s The Alternative?
Sorry to disappoint here, but there’s no legal and safe alternatives to alcohol. You can push yourself, self-amuse, approach girls and have an epic night. Once you’re in state, you feel like a fucking God. There’s nothing comparable.
The solution that works for me is starting each night by doing something uncomfortable to desensitize myself. People like to do different things here, I like to dance weird for a bit, lightly touch girls when walking past and then do real approaches. Other friends have an easier time becoming social when they start talking to other guys.
Experimentation is required, but it’s the only way to achieve consistency. Once you become aware of your “process”, you can repeat it every night. For free, without the hangover.
This is what you can and should depend on – the process.
Looking for substances to help you achieve that will be a quest in vain because none of them can be taken safely on a daily basis. However, for occasional use, there are a couple of good social lubricants. I’ve gotten no results from any of them, but don’t let that discourage you.
There’s a ton of people reporting great benefits, so it might work for you as well.
These are all legally available and super cheap compared to liquor. Each of them should be tested individually, not at the same time.
- 400mg Caffeine + 200mg L-Theanine
- 1,500mg Phenibut
Disclaimer: Personal experience is always king. Testing at lower doses is the recommended procedure, do not go full bore from the start. Everybody is different.
People report having rapid heart beat at 400mg caffeine, while I haven’t notice any effects. I recommend researching further about these substances and their usage beforehand.