Pay Sex: My Experience With Hookers

The first girl I fucked was a hooker. There I said it.

Frankly, it was a huge deal at the time. I haven’t been intimate with or even kissed a girl and wanted to get it over with. There were simply too many questions that I wanted to have answered, so I forced myself. Pay Sex seemed like the quickest solution to  my problem. With my heart racing and whole body shaking, it took over 6 attempts to finally get the job done.

No, it wasn’t fun at all.

Standing outside the brothel, I couldn’t get myself to go in.

Questions racing through my mind.

  • Will anybody see me go in?
  • Will there be a group of women staring at me once I go through the door?

Only a couple of weeks earlier, this would’ve been the last thing I could see myself doing. Despite having no other options to get laid, I told myself, I wouldn’t be that much of a loser having to pay for sex.

Now, about to enter the whorehouse, it has become an alternative gateway to get comfortable around women, gain experience and solve a host of related problems, or so I thought.

On the 3rd visit, I finally went in. And realized that…

…it was NOTHING like I thought it would be.

It actually looked more like a hotel, each girl had her own room with pictures attached to the outside of the door. You could simply browse through the entire house and see if you liked anything.

There were other guys flocking in too. Regular guys, not the low life losers I had pictured in my mind.

Still, the idea of actually having sex was too nerve-wrecking. At some point, I just knocked at a door and asked about the prices. Then I left, the girl pretty pissed that I just wasted her time.

A couple days later, I went to another girl (there’s a weekly rotation), but this time she declined, saying that she senses we’re not a match. I was still nervous as hell.

I took a different approach next time and started with a blowjob. From there on, it was easier and I went for the full package the next time.

However, nothing worked as planned (especially not my dick), so even the first 2 times when I had intercourse, I could not get it up – too nervous.

Needless to say, I had lots of misconceptions about pay sex, the women involved and overall the entire experience.

Loser Do Pay Sex

I am undesirable, no other woman will take me.

Paying a women for sex is the last resort of a man failing to get laid. Once you do it, you are branded for life.

Admittedly, there’s probably a percentage of these men. They simply see no other feasible way to get laid (with the women they want.) It might be the age difference or a specific fetish – there’s many reasons.

However, people I know who have or still occasionally pay for sex, are almost exclusively doing extremely well with the ladies. Some of them are dating coaches, others get laid every weekend. For them, it’s not a big deal, they get laid anyway and paying a hooker doesn’t magically make them a loser.

Not a single fuck is given. (Besides the one paid for.)

Guys that struggle with women – that’s a different story. For them, paying for sex is a dent to their self image. They would rather miss out on experiences, or argue about how it’s just a wimp’s way to avoid rejection, than, you know, just giving it a try and deciding afterwards.

Prostitutes might be able to offer different sexual experiences than regular girls. After all, fucking is what they do all day long, it’s what they are supposed to be good at.

STDs – Nasty Souvenirs

Any time you get intimate with someone, there are risks involved. Contracting something nasty has been a major concern.

At the same time, I believe to be much safer with hookers than regular girls. The places I went to require these professionals to have protected sex – under penalty of getting banned from the establishment. These women were very strict, at times even anal about hygiene and protection.

This makes perfect sense. Their income depends on their health (certificate).

Consider the average girl who isn’t quite as seasoned to always act rationally. It’s easy to get overwhelmed during foreplay and skip using a condom.

She rationalized, this is a rare occasion, it doesn’t even matter.

Then you hear,

We don’t need this, I just want to feel you.

A proven recipe for playing the disease lottery.

Crack Whores – Only A Myth?

Few women fantasize about fucking dirty old man for money. Prostitution exist due to lack of better alternatives.

There’s not many other ways for a women to earn money that quickly. Perhaps doing porn, or marring rich.

A regular job would only provide a fraction of that income.

I am talking about $100-200+ per hour.

They aren’t obligated to take every customer, I’ve experienced it first-hand.

What makes these women different to regular girls is mainly their good looks and high self-confidence. Yes, they are normal to talk to.

Street hookers are a different breed.

I haven’t tried any yet and probably never will. This is where stereotypes of HIV infected, heroine addicted whores might actually be true. Perhaps not the best place to get your pay sex journey started.

  • I rather pay a bit more, get quality and stay safe.

Hookers aren’t that different to people you meet anywhere else.

You like and connect with some of them, others you can’t stand. Except for one occasion, all of the women I banged looked exactly as promoted on their pictures. They were all, more or less, trying to provide a good service.

Given you have realistic expectations and are fairly normal, you can expect an overall good experience. By realistic expectations, I mean you don’t think she’ll do more than agreed upon, or even meet you in private for a free bang.

In conclusion, taking money out of the equation and unless you have a constant stream of premium girls, pay sex is definitely worth the experience. There’s so much to see and do that you won’t get anywhere else.

Beyond sexual practices and fetishes, there’s all sorts of erotic massages. Hell, even I have only experienced a tiny portion of what’s available out there.

Perhaps the biggest risk with pay sex is that once you’ve had a naked hooker in bed, most regular girls will pale in comparison. Your standards will certainly be different afterwards.

 

The Sweet Spot – Enjoyment Versus Achievement

A wise teacher once told me, “If you don’t enjoy it, you will never do it long-term“. And while he had the appearance of a homeless person and charged $25 for his seminar, I found this quote to be true.

Anytime I consider quitting something, I remind myself of this quote and instantly know what’s wrong. Take dating for example. Especially when it’s frustrating (almost the entire time), I know that it’s not the women, but how I approach things and what I am focusing on.

Nearly all of the people I know either struggle with or don’t enjoy dating – or gave up altogether. I can understand why, because nobody will actually persevere indefinitely in the absence of enjoyment. At some point, you will simply lower your standards or change your goal.

If you set out to find your dream girl and that doesn’t happen, despite your going through a process you hate for an extended period – eventually, you’ll settle for an okay girl that crosses your way.

A skill that takes years to master can’t be attained without a long-term commitment. And that in turn, is only possible with some sort of an enjoyment along the way, even if it’s just the small improvements that cheer you up.

If that’s not working, it’s probably time to shift the focus on to a different outcome. From getting laid to, let’s say, taking a certain action. At least something you feel good about afterwards and are able to self-generate positive emotions from on a regular basis.

Especially when it comes to women, I’ve been too focused on only doing things which have proven to work. Yet at the same time, they have made me feel miserable because I wasn’t doing what I would enjoy. For example, being rather direct is something I actually enjoy. It’s fun, easy and it actually feels good to speak your mind.

However, when it comes to dating, it’s more often than not better to think twice about what you say. Especially if you’re horny and want to get laid. Yet, I would love to just speak my mind – despite ruining it all.

That’s why I thought about doing different challenges simply to revive the fun. One could consist of always speaking my mind around any woman I am interested in for an entire month. I don’t care about whether I burn my interactions. (Which I probably will.)

Afterwards, I will judge how it felt and whether I want to continue going this route or take on a different challenge.

Instead of going up and doing the regular spiel of “You cute; want to meet you; let’s do drinks!“, (I don’t actually like drinks, nor going to bars.) I might say, “I want to meet you for X and then perhaps fuck at your place because I live with my friends and don’t want to bring girls back home.

Yes, most girls will probably turn down that offer because it’s quite polarizing. However, being so direct might also free up a lot of mental RAM, I never have to think ahead and it’s more authentic than anything else. I am wondering how it will feel.

Enjoying the process isn’t about putting achievement aside, it’s about customizing a skill set in a way that you enjoy taking action AND get results. My preference would certainly include a direct and blunt style of communication. It’s bold, and most importantly, I feel alive afterwards – no matter what the outcome.

Ultimate Life Plan – Keeping Death In Mind

Every once in a while something reminds me of death. Whether it’s somebody passing away, or simply the presence of disease. And, without fail, I almost always tend to shift into a different state of consciousness. One where I am not caught up in petty thinking, but contemplate about how short and fragile life actually is.

I mean, how is anything anyone ever does relevant in the bigger picture? In short, it isn’t.

Even if I were to cure cancer and save generations of people to come, it would still fade in comparison to the vast and inconceivable dimensions of the universe. A short blink on the radar of universe’s existence.

Given I continue to take care of myself and with a bit of luck in the generic lottery, I might hit age 90. From any human’s perspective, that seems like a damn long time. (Especially if you’re waiting to retire.)

Compare that to the measured age of the universe: 13.82 billion years.

Case closed.

Yet, I have to admit that death has something relieving about it. In a way, it releases you from many burdens when you realize that, ultimately all of life is pointless, insignificant and more like a games console. All that really matters is which game you put in. And it better has multiplayer mode.

On an average day, I am usually caught up with day-to-day activities. Which is fine, as I work on my goals most of the time and know the purpose. However, an element of urgency is certainly missing.

That manifests itself in the lack of risk I take in certain areas and that I rarely focus on actually enjoying life in the moment. (Versus postponing feeling good for when I have achieved a certain goal.).

We’ve all read the quote, “Live each day as if it was your last.” I would like to know how much damage this single quote has done. I can only imagine how many lives have been ruined.

Plain stupid. What does it suppose anyway?

Blowing all your money? Quitting your job today?

Really not in any way useful advice to conducting life.

In rare moments where I can almost feel the shortness of life, I take a step back and ponder about what I actually want in this lifetime – beyond my monthly and yearly goals.

One of my role models has recently been asked about how he plans his days. His answer?

If you’re waiting to plan the day, you’re in trouble. I plan what I want to accomplish in this decade.

He basically has a rough outline for every decade of his life, up until his 80ties.

What a great idea to direct your life.

It’s not about being super anal about every year – nobody knows what might happen along the way – but all about having a general idea about what you want. 5, 10, 20, 40 years from now. Being less of a leaf in the wind.

Having thought about this before, my objection has been, “How can I possibly plan ahead further than a year? I wouldn’t know what I want 5 or 10 years from now.

But again, it’s not about putting a life plan in stone, just having direction.

The way this is done is based on the same principles as yearly planning. Only this time, thinking unrealistically is a must. A lifetime is a long time and compared to a year (pretty much) anything is possible. It doesn’t have to be very specific, just something, you can create long-term and eventually a yearly goal off.

Then from there, it’s as simply as planning your week and achieving certain outcomes on a daily basis.

I have also found this to be the best way to counter distractions. Prior I might have thought I am missing out on something but now when I compare it against my life goals, I realize – going out on a certain day, etc. – has no importance at all.

Beyond helping to plan life long-term, death also serves as a powerful reminder that I always need to step it up a notch and need to make and implement decisions faster. Time is limited and thinking about something insignificant for too long is a poor investment of this resource.

I’ll end this article with the best quote I’ve come across on this topic.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

How To Recover Your Body – Easy, Painless And Minimalist

When it comes to taking care of my body, I like to following the same approach as in most other endeavors in life: aiming for the minimum effective dose and staying minimalistic at all times.

Thus, in practice, this really comes down to sleep and diet.

These are the 2 big players in rejuvenating the body and making growth happen. Yes, growth is stimulated during a phase of demand – e.g. during a workout – but without proper rest, growth can’t manifest. I’ve been working out in the gym for over a year know and don’t experience muscle soreness much anymore (other than when I take a break for a week or two).

Recovery is mainly about the physical part, yet the mind always has the power of veto. Meaning, without taking care of the mental health, fundamental things such as sleep issues can tear you up.

However, using proven ways to rest body and mind, life can certainly be experienced at a higher level, and so can productivity.

Obviously, in order to improve anything here, routines need to be established for the following:

  • Sleep
  • Diet
  • Exercise

Once these 3 are taken care of, I really do stick to the basics.

For the physical part, it’s pretty straight-forward and I do a variety of these.

My Body, My Temple

Sleep obviously is the most important part, with the criteria being length, depth and consistency. Once these are taken care of, it’s all about fine tuning the rest. (Sleep can often be an issue, which is most likely mind-related – see suggestions later in this article.)

I honestly can’t be bothered doing a lot on rest days – most of it would probably be counter-productive anyway. As a cheap alternative to massages, I am using my BlackRoll, which I’ve found to be a great investment.

Cold Baths? Yeah, here and there.

Cardio? Nope. I actually considered this one, but talking to a couple of coaches, I’ve learned that it isn’t recommended during recovery between weight lifting days.

Water is another big item on my list, on a typical day that can amount to up to 5 liters (170 oz.). I’ve used a rebounder occasionally in the past, but wasn’t quite convinced. It’s a great way to getting started in the morning and supposed to be very healthy. I recommend everyone giving it a try though, since a low-end rebounder only sets you back around $40.

Epson salt is also pretty cheap – I’ve done these baths regularly a while ago and want to get started again. Cheap, painless and great to release stress and detox the body.

Control Center: Shutdown

Getting the mind to calm down can sometimes always be tricky.

Even before meditation, I feel the most important strategy is getting stuff out of my head. That means planning (goal planning and daily scheduling), journaling and consistently putting ideas and thoughts on paper. There should be nothing bothering me that I haven’t written down already before going to bed.

Right after that, meditation has it’s place to calm the mind and ground myself in the present moment. It can quickly seem like a huge waste of time, but is actually quite productive given the overwhelming amount of benefits related to meditation.

There are various ways such as simply sitting still and focusing each breath, TM meditation and countless others. I simply set the timer for 20 minutes and count breaths. (At this point, I sometimes do it without the timer and simply count breaths to 250+, which is 20+ minutes anyway.)

Nonetheless, to stay sane, I’ve also found that there needs to be a certain amount of social engagements and/or variety. Socializing or simply talking to friends also helps getting my mind off things and change focus. Especially when I’ve worked at something for an extended period of time – it helps going back at it refreshed!