Productivity 101 – Finally, A Solution That Works

Lovely procrastination. We’ve known each other for decades and it’s an on-off relationship to this day.

Long-term, I’m trying to get with productivity, but she’s going hot and cold on me. I’m not ready to give up yet.

Most advice on getting things done is complete garbage. Commonly a bunch of rehashed motivational fluff that’s supposed to keep you pumped for the next 20 minutes, at best something that stimulates your own thinking.

Procrastination is often branded as lack of drive or clarity.

Knowing what you want is important, but rarely does lack thereof prevent you from getting started. However, it’s a good excuse to keep spinning your wheels only to end up buying another self help book.

When is lack of clarity ever on obstacle to taking the first step?

  • You might not know what to say, but the real reason you don’t approach her is fear.
  • The workout plan might not be perfect, but it’s the perceived effort why you skip the gym session altogether.
  • Lack of motivation is not why you don’t get your latest blog post published, it’s feelings of overwhelm and pressure.

No worries, before I’ve had these realizations, I was also in the dark about the root of procrastination. Here’s the more amusing reasons I came up with at the time.

  • I lack social contact throughout the day and would need it to refuel batteries.
  • Working from home, the environment is too distracting – if I just get somewhere without Internet, I will get all of my tasks done!
  • I think and fantasize too much, it’s a distraction that I need an additional outlet for.

All of that…

… when it’s really certain emotions that are blocking creativity and flow.

There’s many of them – pressure, overwhelm, anxiety.

Whenever I think about writing a blog article, just the act of getting started is a huge challenge. It’s perceived as a giant task.

That’s precisely the reason why I don’t do it anymore. All that’s really happening is me sitting in front of my computer, word processor opened until a designated amount of time is over. There’s little resistance because the outcome is easy to achieve and the pressure is very low.

Just sitting there, it’s easy.

The fascinating thing? I have never ended up staring at the screen for an hour. Quite the contrary, I usually start right away and finish in record time. For others pressure might be fuel, for me it’s a big hindrance.

When the target is so easy to achieve (e.g. just sit there for an hour), there’s no feelings of overwhelm, perfectionism and thus no urge to escape through procrastination.

So far, that’s the only reliable strategy I’ve discovered for getting demanding, creative work done. It’s not a magic pill, but works remarkably well.

I’ve tried other approaches such as chunking down the goal to a certain number of words, or simply brainstorming ideas for a blog post – I still ended up putting it off. Sitting out a certain time is low effort and frees up enormous amounts of mental energy, creativity seems to flow.

Currently, I work in 1 hour sessions and take a break between each.

That’s where basic self awareness is required. At times, I feel tired and know continuing with another 1 hour block wouldn’t yield satisfying results, so I decide to take a break, sometimes even a nap. There’s no cookie-cutter solutions, it’s about being attuned to personal needs.

For the sake of simplicity, I like to do things in bulk. It’s not super important, but helps boosting productivity and focus. Some days I might only write blog articles, on others, I only do brainstorming.

Finally, I’d like to mention that all of this is work in progress. I am still struggling with procrastination on a daily basis, it’s part of being human. Improving daily and coming up with strategies that work, that’s where the money is at.

What Real Life Struggle Looks Like – UNFILTERED

Most of my documented experiences make me look like a super cool guy, some more like a loser. In reality, I’m probably somewhere in between, but I’m definitely far from being perfect and still struggle on a daily basis.

It’s always amazing when you come across journal entries that you can’t relate to anymore. I just happened to read over a couple of notes that were taken during my trip to Bangkok.

They serve as a prime example of the sheer power of journaling and it’s massive rewards. No doubt, I would’ve forgotten most of what I’ve gone through and there’s no better way of realizing such drastic and rapid changes in beliefs and thinking.

The journey is messy, the road bumpy as heck. What the hell, here’s my life.

Day 2 – The first girl I bring back to my room and the usual bullshit happens. Lots of time wasted on a date and now she doesn’t want to have sex. I can’t be bothered to waste time anymore and will be as forward as possible and bring every girl directly to my room.

Day 3 – First lay, pretty easy. In fact, it almost feels like a waste of time. Yet still takes effort, time and distracts a lot. I mean how I laid this girl was as quick and straight-forward as it gets, but I wouldn’t want to repeat it and rather go for a hooker instead.

Finding a girlfriend or long-term fuck buddy, yeah, that might be worth investing the time, but just for getting laid and sex, it seems pointless. Going on dates, paying for drinks or even spending time at a club – who would fucking do that?

Day 4 – Best girl I’ve met so far, but the meet up was complicated. Too loud outside and a Thai accent, so I could understand her talking on the phone. Eventually, texting did the trick but I ran of credit and had to top up my phone in the midst of trying to find her.

Day 5 – Girl has period and thus doesn’t want to have sex. I just come in her mouth, she then continues to go to sleep and I am surprised but still try to make the best out of it. Finished working on the computer a couple hours later, hop into bed, start playing with her, we both get horny and fuck.

Day 6 – I met the girl outside, but she’s dressed up for clubbing and wants to go out. Tried to get her into my bedroom, she walks in, then decides to leave. Honestly, I feel frustrated at this point, seems like I am not getting laid tonight. Sometime around 3 a.m. I manage to meet up with another girl and it ends with a bang.

Day 7 – All goes well, but the girl just doesn’t want to enter the bedroom. I am afraid I might not get laid tonight, and turns out I really don’t. The streak has ended. Achieving the goal of 10 girls in 10 days seems impossible now.

Day 14+ – Frustrated again, as the girl comes back home with me but minutes later gets a call and has to leave. The entire evening wasted and no alternatives available. I just end up going outside, checking out the nightlife near Soi Nana.

Day 16+ – Planned on banging a super hot hooker, but despite dumping prices ($30/hour), I am constantly looking for a hotter model available. I end up walking around for hours, tired and going to sleep at home – alone.

There’s an endless amount of experiences like these, but I really can’t be bothered writing them all down. Still, these moments serve as a powerful reminder of what life really looks like.

Not what I’d like it to be, or what I daydream about. The reality.

This place where things are rarely smooth, but often a close call or pure luck.

Self Experimentation – No, We’re Not Created Equal

Considering past travel experiences, I occasionally found myself filled with regret because in hindsight many of these trips didn’t turn out as expected. Fucking a bunch of girls was always on top of my list, but up until recently, I never got lucky.

Today, I’m at peace with and understand the value of each experience and it’s role in self discovery. It is an essential part of getting to know myself, and layer for layer, as I am exposed to new experiences, I also get closer to the core of what I am about, enjoy and dislike. Whether that’s work-, lifestyle-wise or simply the friends I pick.

Negative experiences were time-consuming, costly, but no matter how painful at the moment, they were crucial steps and stops on the way to new insights. Sometimes important ones about what I don’t like, can’t waste time on anymore and have to eliminate from my radar.

A good example is this year’s goal of sleeping with 10 girls in 10 days.

Your Highness, is this just for fun? Perhaps.

Do you consider it pointless? Most definitely.

Is it still worth the experience? Hell, yeah!

Each experience is likely going to end in one of two ways. You like it, or you don’t. Either way, you are one step further now. First-hand experience is king and often the only thing to rely on.

Maybe I am wired differently, but I just don’t like what many people accept blindly.

  • Pissing away life working as an employee, at a job you hate.
  • Staying at home, never going beyond booking a cookie-cutter vacation package.
  • Wasting time and energy with random women. Worse, lowering my standards.

Accepting risks here and there, trying stuff – all of it lead to valuable conclusions such as that I enjoy being self-employed, working on MY goals, and being independent. Had I never taken the first trip outside of Europe, I would’ve probably bought a car, condo, work a dead-end job and enjoy a mediocre sex life with a less than average girl.

Let’s not forget about making money online. Without that discovery, I would’ve been cut off from a whole series of possibilities.

Life isn’t perfect and never will be. Yet, each passing experience makes me feel more competent about myself and the world.

Upcoming Exploits

Experimentation is fun, it’s where you learn new stuff and can push certain limits. These days, there’s always new things that I want to try and just can’t wait to get my hands on. Not only to see whether I enjoy it, but also how I change in the process.

The best thing about it is that I am able to document it here, possibly even on YouTube.

Here’s what in the pipeline for 2015.

  • How many hotties can I bang in a day? (+ How will I perceive women afterwards?)
  • Do I enjoy having a threesome with 2 hookers?
  • Are erotic massages (Nuru, Prostate) worthwhile, something I want to add to my sexual repertoire?
  • Having sex a girl I just approached during the day, how feasible, how much effort is that really?

Does any of this sound familiar?

Most people would consider it a bucket list. I don’t see it as that because bucket list items usually are pointless, one time things. At least not experiences that are helpful in the long-run. Parachuting for sure is a great thrill, but that’s about it.

Fucking lots of women, on the other hand, is an experience many worthwhile conclusions can be drawn from.

  • What kind of women do I like/dislike?
  • What sexual experiences do I enjoy?
  • Do I like sexual variety or monogamy?
  • How often do I want to have sex?

These are all valuable distinctions for incrementally improving quality of living and only the sweet bonus to the actual experience. In my book, that’s how you have fun – not by working items off a stupid bucket list.

All of it, of course, can be applied to any other area as well – travel, diet, and the people you hang out with.

My Ideal Sex Life – Can You Measure It?

Dating, getting laid and sometimes even just having sex – it can take a lot of time and is often quite distracting. Deciding to quit the system, not playing the game at all isn’t an option either. Jerking off to porn satisfies immediate, physical urges, but the long-term emotional needs are neglected.

Improving sex life starts where all good things stem from – a vision. Getting clear on what I want will make it easier hitting the target consistently and more importantly help eliminating time wasting activities. I’ve gotten so caught up in trying to get laid and fixing certain issues that I’ve never spent time thinking about my ideal sex life.

Sometimes sex is great, other times it’s just okay. Sometimes just having fucked a girl makes you feel like a champion, then there are those experiences that aren’t emotionally rewarding at all.

There will always be some sort of validation and good feeling come from continuing collecting new notches on your belt. Yet, at the same time, it can also be a trip, a chase for the next high that never ends. There needs to be balance.

I realize that’s not something I can force or what sex will always look like, but more of an ideal that I aiming for.

Knowing what the perfect scenario looks like is the best way of gauging whether or not I am successful with women, it’s the only way of escaping comparison with others or trying to achieve a higher lay count just to feel better. Because that’s a surefire way to feel miserable in the long-run. There’s always someone outperforming you!

Defining Quality

  • What is sex like?

Definitely played slowly where both parties feel comfortable. I am happy to be with the girl and have no second thoughts about wanting to be with another (hotter) girl right now. We’re both relaxed, there’s a positive and fun vibe, perhaps we’re even teasing each other.

There’s no rush and the arousal builds up slowly. Approaching ejaculation I don’t just bang like a maniac, but am circulating the sexual energy throughout my body and finish off with a whole body orgasm.

[As a teenager, I used to experience these full body orgasms every single time when masturbating. It was literally my entire body shaking, almost like going into seizure for a couple of seconds. Perhaps ever since discovering porn, sensitivity has gone downhill. Nonetheless, this is probably the most important thing to work on in order to improve the sexual experience.]

  • What are the women like?

Looking at women this way doesn’t make them a commodity, I am simply writing down certain preferences based on which I select women already anyway. No surprises here, slim body, super-flat stomach and a firm, tiny ass are the basic requirements. Nice pair of tits? That’s a great bonus.

Personality-wise, I am very much into girlish, feminine girls. You know, the ones that giggle a lot, are perhaps a bit shy and appear innocent. However, overall, this can’t be measured, or categorized. All that really matters is that I feel good in her presence, whether she’s a highly successful model, or girl working at the local supermarket.

Defining Quantity

  • How many women do I sleep with?

That’s a tough one to answer. I am still at a stage in my life where I want to experience a whole variety of girls and the minimum for that is probably 20 per year. That’s more based on where I am currently located and the “opportunities” – variety and hotness of girls – in proximity.

  • How often do I have sex?

If it were very low effort, or hookers were free, probably daily. Realistically though, the physical need for sex isn’t much of an issue at all. A couple of times per week is fine when I’m traveling, at home I have no problem not getting laid at all.