My Ideal Sex Life – Can You Measure It?

Dating, getting laid and sometimes even just having sex – it can take a lot of time and is often quite distracting. Deciding to quit the system, not playing the game at all isn’t an option either. Jerking off to porn satisfies immediate, physical urges, but the long-term emotional needs are neglected.

Improving sex life starts where all good things stem from – a vision. Getting clear on what I want will make it easier hitting the target consistently and more importantly help eliminating time wasting activities. I’ve gotten so caught up in trying to get laid and fixing certain issues that I’ve never spent time thinking about my ideal sex life.

Sometimes sex is great, other times it’s just okay. Sometimes just having fucked a girl makes you feel like a champion, then there are those experiences that aren’t emotionally rewarding at all.

There will always be some sort of validation and good feeling come from continuing collecting new notches on your belt. Yet, at the same time, it can also be a trip, a chase for the next high that never ends. There needs to be balance.

I realize that’s not something I can force or what sex will always look like, but more of an ideal that I aiming for.

Knowing what the perfect scenario looks like is the best way of gauging whether or not I am successful with women, it’s the only way of escaping comparison with others or trying to achieve a higher lay count just to feel better. Because that’s a surefire way to feel miserable in the long-run. There’s always someone outperforming you!

Defining Quality

  • What is sex like?

Definitely played slowly where both parties feel comfortable. I am happy to be with the girl and have no second thoughts about wanting to be with another (hotter) girl right now. We’re both relaxed, there’s a positive and fun vibe, perhaps we’re even teasing each other.

There’s no rush and the arousal builds up slowly. Approaching ejaculation I don’t just bang like a maniac, but am circulating the sexual energy throughout my body and finish off with a whole body orgasm.

[As a teenager, I used to experience these full body orgasms every single time when masturbating. It was literally my entire body shaking, almost like going into seizure for a couple of seconds. Perhaps ever since discovering porn, sensitivity has gone downhill. Nonetheless, this is probably the most important thing to work on in order to improve the sexual experience.]

  • What are the women like?

Looking at women this way doesn’t make them a commodity, I am simply writing down certain preferences based on which I select women already anyway. No surprises here, slim body, super-flat stomach and a firm, tiny ass are the basic requirements. Nice pair of tits? That’s a great bonus.

Personality-wise, I am very much into girlish, feminine girls. You know, the ones that giggle a lot, are perhaps a bit shy and appear innocent. However, overall, this can’t be measured, or categorized. All that really matters is that I feel good in her presence, whether she’s a highly successful model, or girl working at the local supermarket.

Defining Quantity

  • How many women do I sleep with?

That’s a tough one to answer. I am still at a stage in my life where I want to experience a whole variety of girls and the minimum for that is probably 20 per year. That’s more based on where I am currently located and the “opportunities” – variety and hotness of girls – in proximity.

  • How often do I have sex?

If it were very low effort, or hookers were free, probably daily. Realistically though, the physical need for sex isn’t much of an issue at all. A couple of times per week is fine when I’m traveling, at home I have no problem not getting laid at all.

Tracking Health – How To Stay Healthy Forever

Being so anal about your health seems like an overkill, too much work and pretty pointless. A couple of years ago, I would’ve probably agreed, but when you’ve gone through a serious health issue and faced uncertainty for a couple of days, weeks or even months, preventative health care suddenly seems like an excellent option.

The benefits of checking in on my health go beyond detecting issues at an early stage, it’s also about experiencing piece of mind. While there’s millions of health markers to track and too many ways to define health I can wrap my head around, for the sake of simplicity, I decided create a personalized plan.

That means only tracking things that I’ve had issues with in the past – known weaknesses. It’s an investment in long-term health and as such an absolute TOP priority – despite costs and discomfort.

The Tracking Process

Dentist – 3x/Year

Seriously, I know people that haven’t been to the dentist in years. I don’t want to be one of them – ever. Not that I have big issues with my teeth, but there’s minor problems with my gums that I want to get looked at by an expert on a regular basis. I consider teeth very, very important and fixing anything dental-related can quickly become expensive.

Unlimited dental checkups are covered by my insurance, there’s literally no reason not to make use of it. In addition to the checkups, I will also take pictures on a monthly basis in order to monitor changes related to my gums. Again, this is a personal issue and since changes occur very slowly I would probably not notice a difference without looking at the pics.

It’s a great way of seeing at which rate the gums recede and what I need to prepare for.

STD Check – 1x/Year

I might fuck a series of girls in a row – Bangkok (11 in ~ 2 weeks) – but when I am not on the road, the only thing that’s putting my penis at risk is not washing my hands before jerking off. Getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases is very important since many of them come with no symptoms at all. At the same time it’s probably enough getting tested only after a sex trip.

Never would I fuck a girl without a condom, but getting a blowjob is an entirely different thing. I know it’s not a good idea, hell, I don’t even like getting my meat sucked. Sometimes though, it’s just too tempting to put your dick in a girls mouth when she’s lying next to you looking so innocent.

Full Blood Panel – 1x/Year

Significant and measurable changes in the blood take at least a couple of months to be visible on tests. When changing diet or lifestyle, it’s always wise to have a look at specific markers such as Vitamin D3 (I’ve had horribly low levels), Magnesium, Testosterone, etc. – but again, once a year will do the trick.

This is just to notice if things were to go south. My diet is pretty consistent anyway, so doing it more often would be an overkill. Unfortunately, this isn’t something covered by my insurance. One full blood panel is probably a couple hundred if not thousand Euro, so last time I simply went to my GP and mentioned “erectile dysfunction”.

The letter of referral just said “check hormones”, but the laboratory people didn’t know what it meant specifically so I just ended up telling them a whole list of markers that need to be tested. It all worked out fine and I saved a decent amount of cash.

Kidney Issues – 1x/Year

Again, nothing severe but I’ve had back pain a couple of years ago which turned out to be caused by my kidneys. I didn’t notice anything ever since, but the doctor’s recommendation was to come in for a checkup once a year. That’s no effort at all and what I’ll stick to.

The first time I went to the hospital for this issue, I got to experience a urethra catheter.

Picture this: 12 inch tube put INSIDE your penis, all the way up to your stomach.

Even worse, last time, the nurse too it out too early by accident and had to put it in an hour later.

The lesson? Avoid AT ALL COSTS.

The Value Of A Journal – Little Work, Massive Rewards

Adding content to a journal on a regular basis takes a lot of time and effort. There’s no way to outsource any part of the process and the monetary rewards are little to non-existent. Despite all of that, I’ve come to realize the not so obvious benefits and transformational power of it all.

If there’s one activity for personal improvement and self help that comes close to being a magic pill, it would be journaling.

I am not kidding, it’s amazing.

Crystal Clarity

Thinking is something we all do, but most of it is undirected and repetitive. There’s no scientific evidence to back up my theory, however, writing down your thoughts seems to help with structuring them and eventually thinking more clearly. This is especially helpful if you frat about some issue.

Many of the blogs posts on here cover something I am struggling with or ponder about. Having these conversations in my mind is usually an endless loop; the only way to resolve anything like that is to put it on paper first and gain clarity. Most of the time, the solution becomes obvious or the simple act of writing makes the issue less significant, or irrelevant.

Getting To Know You

This goes hand in hand with the previous point. I thought I knew myself very well already and had good self-awareness, but journaling made me realize what I didn’t realize. Unconscious patterns, flaws in my personality, insecurities and desires I didn’t even knew I had.

Capturing life experiences is the only way of noticing gradual changes – especially when looking back and seeing how beliefs, behaviors and thinking patterns have changed, in some cases very radically.

Life, A Series of Moments

Life isn’t really one big chunk of time. 60 years, 70 year, 80 years or however long you life. If I look back at the past 26 years, I only remember a series of special moments. Some of them were positive, others were painful. Beyond what I experience in the current moment, these memories make up what I consider “my life”.

Most of what I’ve gone through – even the amazing experiences – I have probably forgotten already. After all, there’s only so much you can remember. This is something I regret A LOT.

“Collecting” life in a journal is the best way to have more of these special moments – and remember them forever. More meaningful experiences captured equals a life that I perceive as more worthwhile and fulfilling. Doing all of that in the form of a blog is another great way of sharing it all with the world and friends without having to repeat yourself and tell stories over and over again to each individual.

It’s the small things that need to be captured, most of the big stuff we remember anyway. One such rewarding experience happened a couple of days ago. I had just published a new blog post and that same day a friend sent me feedback about it on Facebook. He just happened to check out my blog and read through the article.

Small, but rewarding moment.

3 Things I HATE About Bangkok, Thailand

Considering all the places I’ve been to, Thailand resembles paradise the most. Sunshine year round, most things are cheap, oh, and plenty of hotties on the streets, in malls and hundreds of nightclubs and bars.

Pretty much all you can ask for, and it doesn’t surprise that people come back, year after year. Nonetheless, there’s a couple of things REALLY bothering me, something I need to address to maintain objectivity.

1. Dirty Streets

Any normal person would jump back shocked when a rat suddenly runs across the way. Sadly, there’s so many of them that I’ve gotten accustomed, it became the norm. The nasty thing is that you see them near the food stands on the street, right next to a family of cockroaches running around hysterically.

Besides safety, this is the main reason I only get fresh fruits and coconuts off the streets. These are inside plastic containers and refrigerated in fresh ice.

Hygiene-standards are superb in most bathrooms, but they’re beyond words on the streets. Besides, most places look run down. Not more than in London, or most large cities, but certainly not up to what I’m used to from Central Europe.

The malls look extravagant, but many places outside look more like a slum, with water dropping from the ceiling and dirt everywhere. Again, I am comparing to the super-clean standards I am used to – Bangkok is not THAT horrible!

2. Pushy Salespeople

Anyone coming to Bangkok will quickly be annoyed by people approaching you from all sides, everywhere, at any time. I’ve learned to cope with it and rarely walk on the sidewalk if there are massage ladies or – at night – ladyboys in sight.

If there’s no other option, I carry something like a plastic bag (pretending I was shopping), look at my phone or play with my camera in order to look distracted.

Being nice is one thing, but good luck keeping up that facade when you get aggressively approached 20 times in a matter of minutes.

Try walking on the streets instead and now you’re dealing with an endless stream of taxi drivers stopping or honking. Everyone wants to take you for a ride and make a couple of bucks, perhaps even more if they are able to convince you to go to a places where they earn commission.

Ignorance or a quick gesture is often enough to be left alone. Having taxis always nearby is great when you need them, otherwise it’s more annoying.

3. Accommodation

Sure, you get what you pay for and I probably could’ve gotten an extravagant place also. Nevertheless, I’ve switched places 3 times during my stay and they were 16, 24 and 26€ per night. Cheaper than any hotel, but not super cheap either.

Granted, you can still save a lot of money by booking an entire month, but I am still surprised that the quality-price ratio isn’t higher. Also, I have to get used to the Thai living standard, which is essentially people living in one giant room that resembles a hotel room, doesn’t have a kitchen and occasionally lacks air conditioning.

The conclusive rant is reserved for just that, air conditioning. It really sucks, you easily get a cold and the fan is too loud. Once you turn it off, you’re happy for half an hour until you start breaking a sweat.

I know it’s weird saying that when one of the benefits of coming to Thailand is the climate. The heat is fine at night when going out, but during daytime it’s unbearable, especially the humidity.