Phuket (particularly Patong) is one of my favorite spots in all of Thailand.
I’ve spent several months there during off-season, paid less than $10 per night (sometimes less than $5) and had lots of fun (happy ending massages, freelancers, Tinder, Phuket Nightlife).
It definitely is a single man’s paradise if you know where to stay, where to go for happy endings and visit during the right time of the year.
However, as you walk around in the Patong area, and pass by dozens and dozens of massage shops with girls trying to pull you in, you might notice something rather odd (at least for Thailand).
Many of the massage shops in Patong have a sign saying, ‘NO SEX‘
What does that mean?
Are there no happy ending massages in Phuket?
Are happy endings not allowed in Phuket?
Perhaps you are a bit worried.
After all, one of the things you wanted to do in Patong is get a happy ending massage.
Let’s start at the beginning. I will tell you why you need not worry about these signs and where to actually find your happy ending massage in Phuket.
How To Spot Happy Ending Massages in Phuket?
If you are a first-time visitor to Phuket (or Thailand), you might be a bit confused. How do you know a massage shop offers happy endings? Is it considered rude to ask?
In 9/10 cases, all you need is use common sense to figure out if you’re standing in front of a happy ending massage parlor.
What do I mean?
Let’s say one evening, you walk around in the Patong area just for the sake of it. You’ve decided to explore some of the sidestreets, such as
- Rat U Thit Road
- Sawatdirak Road
- Phang Muang Sai Kor Road
One massage shop you walk past has girls sitting outside. The girls are wearing miniskirts. As you walk past, two of the girls get up and block your way.
They ask you to come inside. They start touching you. They grab your dick.
Using common sense, do you think happy endings are offered here?
Right, not too difficult to figure out.
Now let’s assume you are walking past a Phuket massage place with a completely different set of Thai massage girls. Only a few of them are sitting outside of the shop.
They are all wearing long dresses, showing no cleavage and none of these Thai massage girls approach you aggressively.
How likely is it that you will get a happy ending massage here? Unlikely. I’d say, no way.
So, there you have it.
In the video below, you see me walk along one of the sidestreets. You will also see some massage girls sitting outside.
Rather than my giving you a list of happy ending massages in Phuket, you can now spot them yourself.
Of course, if you don’t want to go through the hassle of walking around for hours, testing different places, you can go straight to my recommended massage places included in the Interactive Phuket Map.
Taking Thai Massage Girl To Your Hotel?
Yes, you can also do that. Not all girls will be up for it, but why not give it a try if you like the girl?
The Thai massage girl with the big tits you see in the clip below, I met her outside of her Patong massage shop after she finished work.
Then took her to my hotel and the rest you can guess 😉
Great value at 1,500 Baht for long-time (overnight). She had massive tits and was very horny; even to the point that I felt exhausted and didn’t want to have sex anymore.
I met her again a few days later and we went to Illuzion Phuket (that’s what you see in the clip.)
NOTE: Taking a massage girl to your hotel is not part of the massage shop’s services. You will have to get the massage girl’s contact info and arrange something on the side. (Easiest done if you get a 200 Thai massage with her; then ask her for her LINE ID.) – Or you go straight to using the contacts of the Thai girls I’ve been with already.
Prices of Massages & Happy Endings in Patong
What are the costs of regular and happy ending massages in Phuket? How do you know you aren’t being scammed?
The only way to avoid being scammed is by knowing the price of Phuket massages IN ADVANCE.
That way, you know whether or not a massage shop offers good price-value.
The price for a Thai massage, Oil massage or foot massage is usually displayed outside of the massage shop. Prices for those massages tend to be between 200-300 Baht (same in Bangkok).
What you probably want to know are the prices for happy endings. Keep in mind, the prices I’ve listed below are price ranges.
- Hand Job: 400-600 Baht
- Blow Job: 600-800 Baht
- Sex: 1,000-1,600 Baht
Say, you go to a massage place and a hand job costs 400 Baht. That’s great value. You visit another massage shop and it’s 600 Baht – still acceptable.
Then you come across a Thai massage girl asking for 1,000 Baht for a hand job. You recall the price ranges I’ve listed here and instantly know you’re getting ripped off.
Should You Ask For Happy Ending Prices?
You can inquire about the price of the happy ending prior to your massage. Or you can simply get a regular massage (Thai massage, Oil massage) and then wait for the proposal.
At some point during the massage, the girl will ask if you want a happy ending. She will then also let you know the price.
You can still decide to continue with the regular massage if she is quoting an inflated price.
Ladyboy Massage in Patong, Phuket
When it comes to ladyboys in Thailand, most men are interested in knowing how to spot and avoid them. Here’s how to spot a Thai ladyboy.
A small percentage of men is interested in Thai ladyboys. That’s fine; I’m not judging if you’re one of those men.
If you like ladyboys, you might be on the look-out for a ladyboy massage in Phuket.
If you are randomly walking around, you will be able to spot ladyboy massage places very easily. Ladyboys are usually very proactive, will approach you, grab your dick and not let go.