The Perfect Ten Doesn’t Exist – 5 Explanations

With too much free time on hand, I occasionally ponder about questions that offer no practical value. Just stuff I am trying to make sense of, useless knowledge. Nevertheless, pretty interesting.

For example, asking myself how it’s actually possible that we physically enjoy music and the mechanics behind it all. Similarly, and perhaps even more relevant, I’ve thought about how it is that we find different people attractive when we’re all made equal.

To be honest, my theory is that we’re all born with the same definition of attractiveness, yet that it shifts over time and is molded by life experiences, beliefs and a variety of other, unknown factors.

Researching this topic, I came across 5 explanations that make logical sense, but are all still pseudo-scientific. Each explanation lacks details about how the decision-making process takes place.

For that reason, I have added my interpretations below.

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1. Sometimes we modify our expectations on the basis of who we think we can “get” as a partner. It’s been shown that people end up with partners of the same attractiveness, meaning that if you’re average you will find other average people attractive.

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When men don’t experience the level of success they desire, often they lower their expectations. While many of them eventually end up with a woman, it still doesn’t mean they find her particularly attractive. Although, in reality, most guys probably wouldn’t want to admit that and rather lie to themselves instead of continuing to chasing their dream woman in vain.

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2. Something about a person’s personality can cause us to re-evaluate their looks.

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Something I can completely agree with, although unsure how it actually works. Learning that a hot girl is actually stupid or works as a cleaner, usually makes her less attractive in my perception. Whereas if an average girl is super confident, smart and genuine, that can easily add to her looks.

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3. We find the familiar attractive.

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Personality-wise this would make sense, refers to the previous point.

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4. It’s been scientifically shown that people find others more attractive if they think that person likes them. So you might not give someone a second look, but if you find out they like or are attracted to you, you will suddenly find them attractive.

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Again, I would totally argue that people classify others who like them as more attractive for self image reasons. Nobody wants to admit that a fat, ugly girl is interested in you, so average women suddenly become hot.

The same phenomena happens after you’ve slept with a girl where she doesn’t necessarily look hotter afterwards, but in your mind you wouldn’t admit that she wasn’t as hot as you thought beforehand. It’s a self image boost and validation, we purposely overlook certain flaws.

In the past, I had done the exact same thing, but the other way around. After having learned that a certain girl likes me or having slept with her, I suddenly saw how she wasn’t perfect at all, yet also didn’t understand why she had been interested in the first place and was looking for/creating flaws where none were before.

Another “scientific” theory, which clearly has no basis in reality.

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5. People who are very attractive care more about attractiveness in a mate, while unattractive people want a partner who is kind and has a good sense of humor.

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The chase to improve your self image often stems from a lack of experience with women or intimate encounters. If you’re a virgin, you want that first girl to be perfect, whereas if you’ve already banged a variety of girls, you don’t care much about any individual female.

This is not to say that standards are lower – I would argue that often entitlement actually rises with lays -, but a single girl (and how she looks) simply carries very little significance. The more girls you experience, the more you realize the miniscule difference between average and hot looks.