I am a big fan of simplicity and nothing seems more basic than this.
Speak your mind. Say what you think and feel.
Don’t worry about saying the right thing, just let it out.
Try being honest for more than a day, and you’ll see that it’s hard.
Telling white lies is the easy way out, the hassle-free approach most people take. If there were better alternatives, we wouldn’t bullshit so much. Lying has become second nature, we don’t notice it anymore. Over the years, however, this leads to unhappiness and mental disorders.
Dr. Blanton is a rather unpleasant bloke and his book’s title “Radical Honesty” suggest that you’re in for a harsh wake-up call.
The ideas are radical and so are the results. Sleeping with 700 women isn’t a small feat for any psychotherapist.
Granted, I was eager to learn about his methods.
Summer 2011, Barcelona – I was heavily into reading pickup and seduction material, at a time where most methods either included deception, lying or manipulation. I felt like an idiot trying to trick women into bed, yet worse, it seemed like a lot of work.
Blanton’s approach was different and of the simplest nature.
Be honest, be direct. Whether it’s women, or life – there’s no difference.
Clearly, this is something for personal relationships, not a way of talking to your boss or colleagues.
Honesty doesn’t come easy, it’s a skill that requires strength and the willingness to be vulnerable, to let your guard down. It’s always weird, painful and sometimes even awkward.
The idea of hurting a loved one makes you cringe, so you fabricate a story.
At the same time, you take the worst action possible and continue the cycle of bullshit. Instead, tell the truth and risk hurting the other. While this sounds insane, it helps create deeper and stronger relationships over the long term. Over time, any hurt will subside. This is a natural process that won’t let you down.
Radical Honest doesn’t come in a gift back and lacks short-term benefits. In fact, at the beginning, you can expect a truckload of negative emotions coming right at you. Don’t lose faith, push through it and experience a new level of freedom in your life. Speaking your mind will transform everything, especially how you interact with friends and family.
This method – being direct – isn’t about getting others to like you, or even achieving a certain outcome. It’s a purely egoistic approach, a painful, yet straight-forward way to come clean with yourself. Building a healthy connection with yourself and others is the priceless reward.
Radical Honesty by Dr. Brad Blanton presents simple ideas to transform your life. Unfortunately, explaining these ideas doesn’t take long, and the remainder of this book consists of boring stories, irrelevant content and a series of promotions for expensive seminars.
You know, the ones where you get filmed naked.
I am not kidding you, go read the book.